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Status Is In Sim Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Status Is In Sim" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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You know how they say when you die, your whole life flashes before you? Well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Unknown
770 Likes
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I want the type of relationship that Rick Ross has with his refrigerator.
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221 Likes
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What's the point in even leading someone on or a one night stand I don't get it, what do you gain? Celebrity status amongst your boys?
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4 Likes
I have a memory foam mattress...and I really hope that it doesn't remember everything.
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349 Likes
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S T U P I D = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand.
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182 Likes
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Lindsay Lohan should at least have to spend as much time in jail as we've spent hearing about it.
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27 Likes
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Waffles are just pancakes with syrup traps...
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86 Likes
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It's 2012 and we still don't have a toothpaste that doesn't ruin orange juice.
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94 Likes
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I never understood why they have life jackets under our seats on planes instead of parachutes...
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187 Likes
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The most common phrase in China: 'Hey! You look familiar!'
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226 Likes
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You think youre pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone elses shower.
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46 Likes
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Dear google, can u just let me write my sentence before u start guessing...
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247 Likes
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If you're talking behind my back, you're in a good position to kiss my ass!
Unknown
5981 Likes
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Not trying to be rude, but your d..k gets less action then a white crayon.
Unknown
1218 Likes
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I don't need to lie. But, sometimes, I like to give the truth an extreme makeover.
Unknown
305 Likes
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Hope you're feeling okay after being s..ually violated by Miley Cyrus last night.
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67 Likes
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I'm pretty sure I have a defective iphone 5, I keep pressing the home button and I'm still at work.
Unknown
264 Likes
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The most awkward place to run into a homeless person is on your way to a Coinstar.
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29 Likes
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It's always awesome when my blinker matches the beat of the song on the radio.
Unknown
33 Likes
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Being trapped in the corner of your shower because the cold water is running.
Ritu Ghatourey
66 Likes
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