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Thank God Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Thank God Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
If I had to be any Kardashian sister, I would choose Bruce Jenner.
Unknown
61 Likes
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Diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in your jeans...
Unknown
265 Likes
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I hope the NSA is concerned about how often my mother calls me.
Unknown
42 Likes
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Keep your issues in your tissue box, and learn how to keep them out of your status box.
Unknown
157 Likes
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If abortion is murder, then are condoms kidnapping...
Unknown
479 Likes
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Our deepest sympathies to Aaron Hernandez's fellow prison inmates on not getting someone as pretty as Tom Brady.
Unknown
47 Likes
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I will complain about my privacy being invaded by the government right after I update my dating profile to attract strangers on the internet.
Unknown
57 Likes
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The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble.
Nikhil Saluja
487 Likes
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As I was filling up my gas tank I realized I didn't want to eat this week anyways.
Unknown
296 Likes
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I decided to burn some calories so I set a fat kid on fire.
Unknown
281 Likes
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I dont mind ketchup on my hot dog, as long as the bun is tight.
Jon Lajoie
412 Likes
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You wanna cry? Try using a tissue, it works much better than your Facebook status.
Unknown
360 Likes
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Somebody needs to start a restaurant called, 'Chick-Fil-Atheist' that's only open on Sunday.
Unknown
215 Likes
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Theres a new Facebook app that will post a final status update for you after you die. Thats ridiculous. I dont need someone to change my status when I die. I need them to water my Farmville crops.
Jimmy Fallon
60 Likes
At least my job description doesn't involve repairing the economy or being the new head football coach at Penn State.
Unknown
35 Likes
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If you want to cry use a tissue, not your Facebook status.
Unknown
313 Likes
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It's a Facebook status not a diary. Learn the difference....
Unknown
779 Likes
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You're so much better than A-Rod at concealing your drug use on the job.
Unknown
50 Likes
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Unless your name is GOOGLE...stop acting like you KNOW EVERYTHING...
Unknown
1570 Likes
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Congratulations on buying a car that will go 0-60 in 5 seconds whether you want it to or not.
Unknown
56 Likes
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