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Very Funny Facebook Statusholes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Very Funny Facebook Statusholes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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My wife and I are trying to have a child. But it's so hard to take one out of Chuck E Cheese without anyone noticing...
Unknown
232 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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The closest that I've gotten to murder: Holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles stop...
Unknown
576 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I last longer than Obamacare call center wait times.
Unknown
310 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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When guys ask you to send a picture of yourself...we're not asking for the one you took with your grandma last night.
Unknown
294 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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No I didnt trip The floor looked like it needed a hug.
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2505 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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I wonder who the first person was to see an egg come out of a chickens butt and think...'That looks tasty, I'm gonna eat that.'
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568 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm 4 months pregnant, and its your baby .
Carlos Banks
190 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Sometimes I walk through the baby aisle at the grocery store as a reminder to always use a condom.
Unknown
481 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Women who complain are like yellow traffic lights. Nobody really pays attention to them.
Unknown
276 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I've been chewing for decades, how did I manage to f*ck that up?
Unknown
434 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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That awkward moment when people start stuff on your Facebook status and you just don't want to get involved.
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154 Likes
Funny quotes
The thirst people have because they want a Valentine.
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256 Likes
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I wish I could google "things to eat in my fridge" so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed.
Unknown
1060 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I hate how spiders just sit there on the walls and act like they pay rent...
Unknown
459 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
Unknown
1223 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Wanna hear a joke about my pe..s? Never mind, it's too long.
Unknown
3462 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Short quotes
I need breakfast! If I were any more hungry right now, Brad and Angelina would adopt me.
Unknown
176 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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I'm glad there will be an iPhone that's affordable to the sweatshop workers who make iPhones.
Unknown
39 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Hope you're feeling okay after being s..ually violated by Miley Cyrus last night.
Unknown
67 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
Unknown
524 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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