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Want To Hear A Joke About Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Want To Hear A Joke About" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
There's a story going round that I injected my pet dog with botox. I didn't. I haven't got a dog. I would never do anything to hurt or enhance the unconditional natural beauty of an animal. It was a joke.
Ricky Gervais
4 Likes
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It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny joke and you laugh so hard you spit the toothpick out and it hits him in the face or something.
Jack Handey
11 Likes
Love quotes
Happiness starts with, one word. One joke. One text. One phone call. One song. One hug. One kiss. And stops with one mistake.
Anmol Andore
18 Likes
Happiness quotes
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Mistakes quotes
Vicodin, I got addicted to that little pill. The reason I don't talk about it too much in the press is because it isn't funny, and I love to be funny in interviews. If you joke about that period in your life, it doesn't seem right.
Matthew Perry
5 Likes
A rumor that followed me forever was that my family was in the mafia. For years I had to live with it. They'd call me the mafia princess, so I rolled with it for the rest of high school. People even joke about it today.
Giuliana Rancic
13 Likes
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People always joke that dog spells god backwards. They should consider that it might be the higher power coming down to see just how well they do, what kind of people they are. The animals are right here, right in front of us. And how we treat these companions is a test.
Linda Blair
5 Likes
If you treat your life as a joke, then it will become one.
Cv Pillay
11 Likes
Life quotes
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Life isnt a joke, take it seriously, and love every moment that you do. You only get one chance to make it the best, and be happy that youre living life in peace.
Latia Brown
18 Likes
Life Is Too Short quotes
Ha ha ha, I like to joke, got a sense of humor? Still face, play me short like an oompa loompa. You ain't gotta screw up your face in front of the kids won't you lighten up like Michael did?
Kendrick Lamar
26 Likes
Also, the commercial media in a superior position, really, to any other corporate lobby, because where would people hear about commercial media or corporate media criticism, where would they hear criticism of them other than in the commercial media?
Robert McChesney
1 Likes
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I always make this joke that I know you were expecting to see the big skirts and the hoops. But that was a long time ago. Artists aren't always seen as real people. If you start out as a teenager, sometimes people want to keep you locked as that. But I'm a woman now.
Jody Watley
1 Likes
Everyone recognizes that's a joke because obviously the number and shape of the pieces doesn't affect the size of the pizza. And similarly, the stocks, bonds, warrants, etc., issued don't affect the aggregate value of the firm.
Merton Miller
0 Likes
Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with my spud-gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?
Dwight Schrute
2 Likes
Sorry the calendar played a cruel joke on you this year by making your birthday fall on a Monday.
Unknown
257 Likes
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May changing your Facebook relationship status as an April Fool's joke not cause the end of your relationship.
Unknown
143 Likes
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A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself.
Jessamyn West
0 Likes
Humor quotes
Gene Autry was the most. It may sound like a joke - Go and have a look in my bedroom, It's covered with Gene Autry posters. He was my first musical influence.
Ringo Starr
2 Likes
Life is boring if you don't laugh, joke around and be little crazy every now and then. At the end of the day it's about being happy.
Unknown
17 Likes
Life quotes
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Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
Robert Frost
21 Likes
Jokes quotes
I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds.
Dave Chappelle
12 Likes
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