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Billy Connolly Jokes On Getting Olderuming Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Billy Connolly Jokes On Getting Olderuming" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.
Billy Connolly
142 Likes
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Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply look under the kilt, and if it's a quarter-pounder, you know it's a McDonald's.
Billy Connolly
32 Likes
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Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his sho... After that, who cares? ...He's a mile away and you've got his sho...
Billy Connolly
142 Likes
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I'd rather laugh in bed than do it. If I went to a lady of the night, I'd probably pay her to tell me jokes. Would that be perverted?
Billy Joel
16 Likes
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If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?
Billy Connolly
10 Likes
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I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go there.
Billy Connolly
5 Likes
There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
Billy Connolly
6 Likes
The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.
Billy Connolly
6 Likes
I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be.
Billy Connolly
4 Likes
I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.
Billy Connolly
1 Likes
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Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.
Billy Connolly
24 Likes
I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
Billy Connolly
6 Likes
Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint.
Billy Connolly
1 Likes
Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
Billy Connolly
4 Likes
My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
Billy Connolly
8 Likes
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I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of my hand and give me a pound.
Billy Connolly
9 Likes
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I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered.
Billy Connolly
4 Likes
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
Billy Connolly
16 Likes
Marriage quotes
It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.
Billy Connolly
15 Likes
Judaism quotes
I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
Billy Connolly
1 Likes
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