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Funny Santa Clause Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Santa Clause" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Believe in love. Believe in magic. Hell, believe in Santa Clause. Believe in others. Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. If you don't, who will?
Jon Bon Jovi
19 Likes
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Parents should stop telling their kids about santa clause because it keeps them from knowing the true meaning of christmas.
Unknown
4 Likes
The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn't believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.
Rick Sutter
77 Likes
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When Tim Allen made The Santa Clause, I thought that was a delightful film. It took a modern sensibility but layered onto it a kind of sentiment.
Leonard Maltin
2 Likes
Elvis helps Santa Clause make toys.
Honey Boo Boo Child
6 Likes
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The akings clause of the Fifth Amendment is for conservatives what the equal protection clause of the 14th is for liberals.
Michael Kinsley
4 Likes
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.
Shirley Temple
32 Likes
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Dear Santa.... you'se a bi... ni...... nonono... wait wait... Dear Santa... You'se a bi... a.. ni......i heard the mall was hiring extra security to protect you.. that's a bi... move santa...i'm comin for that a.. again... until you pay what you owe! sincurly yours... the santa stalker...
Riley Freeman
60 Likes
There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus
Bob Phillips
6 Likes
Fun Christmas quotes
One time I asked Brasky to dress up as Santa for a Christmas party I was having for my children. Anyway, Brasky shows up as Santa, says I've got goodies for you kids. He reaches into his bag and proceeds to hand out scrap metal and cigarettes to them. Then he takes off his beard and says There's no Santa cause I ate him!
Bill Brasky
0 Likes
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Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while. (X) fu.. it. I'll buy my own shit.
Unknown
917 Likes
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You wanna talk some trash? I'll talk trash with ya.
The Santa Clause 2
13 Likes
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Here comes Santa Claus! Here comes Santa Claus! Right down Santa Claus Lane!
Unknown
4 Likes
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It wouldn't be fair to say that conservatives cherish property the way liberals cherish equality. But it would be fair to say that the takings clause is the conservatives' recipe for judicial activism just as they say liberals have misused the equal protection clause.
Michael Kinsley
0 Likes
I believed in Santa Claus until I was much older than the average kid. One year, my mom wrote 'Merry Christmas, Stacy' on a chalkboard and told me it was written by Santa. I was like, 'Oh my God, he knows my name!' I truly believed. Then a kid ruined it for me one day and told me there was no Santa, and I came home crying. The sad part was that the girl who told me was younger than I was.
Stacy Keibler
6 Likes
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I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.
Shirley Temple
44 Likes
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Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, Must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?"
Arlo Guthrie
21 Likes
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Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is... your list with names of naughty girls.
Unknown
693 Likes
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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.
Victor Borge
25 Likes
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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin
85 Likes
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