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Funny Sarcastic Joke Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Sarcastic Joke" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Johnny Carson
42 Likes
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What you never want to do is have a story that doesn't track emotionally, because then you're going joke to joke and you're going to fatigue the audience. The only thing that's going to string them to the next joke is how successful the previous joke is.
Paul Feig
0 Likes
Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dir.. joke is a sort of mental rebellion.
George Orwell
0 Likes
Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dir.. joke is a sort of mental rebellion.
George Orwell
3 Likes
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If I hear another pancake joke I'm gonna flip.
Unknown
88 Likes
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I once told a journalist that girls call me 'Kitten,' but I couldn't have been more sarcastic, and no matter how many times I've said that it was a joke, it still doesn't go away.
Joaquin Phoenix
0 Likes
The awkward moment when you realize your joke isn't as funny as you thought.
Unknown
224 Likes
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If this is some kind of practical joke, it's not funny, and I know funny. I'm a clownfish. -Marlin
Finding Nemo
5 Likes
The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.
Unknown
26 Likes
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I was going to make a gay joke...butt f*ck it...
Unknown
618 Likes
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Treat me like a joke, watch me leave you like its funny
Unknown
645 Likes
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Treat me like a joke and I'll leave you like it's funny.
Kiara Sellars
200 Likes
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I am sitting here looking at the most amazing person I have ever seen, smart, funny, caring, and absolutely stunning! Yes, I am looking in the mirror!
Ash Sweeney
585 Likes
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The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the girls. I couldn't tell a joke to save my life.
Seann William Scott
11 Likes
Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while. (X) fu.. it. I'll buy my own shit.
Unknown
917 Likes
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Vicodin, I got addicted to that little pill. The reason I don't talk about it too much in the press is because it isn't funny, and I love to be funny in interviews. If you joke about that period in your life, it doesn't seem right.
Matthew Perry
5 Likes
And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!
Will Rogers
206 Likes
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There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.
Jean Baudrillard
38 Likes
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Don't you hate it when you're doing push-ups and you lose count after 1,000...
Unknown
147 Likes
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We're weird guys. I don't know if a lot of people get our humor. A lot of people probably think we're jerks. We're real sarcastic. Really ironic and stuff. We mean well, but we joke around probably a lot more than we should.
Brendon Urie
20 Likes
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