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Woody Allen Quotes & Sayings
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171 entries tagged including 81 subtopics.
Last updated May 2024
Woody Allen Topics
Chess
Happiness
Achievement
Immortality
Advice
Appearance
Food
Failure
Luck
Cheating
Soul
Infidelity
America And Americans
Seriousness
Crime
Dating
Economy
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Evil
Metaphysics
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Innovation
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Goodness
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Funny
Suffering
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Hollywood
Children
Sex
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Death
Comedy
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Death And Dying
Women
Jewish
Government
Wisdom
Laughter
Being Thankful
Television
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Time
QUOTES
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
Woody Allen
0 Likes
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If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job
Woody Allen
2 Likes
If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
Woody Allen
1 Likes
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
Woody Allen
0 Likes
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Woody Allen
26 Likes
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I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
Woody Allen
2 Likes
I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
3 Likes
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Woody Allen
4 Likes
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
Woody Allen
4 Likes
I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
Woody Allen
0 Likes
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I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'
Woody Allen
3 Likes
I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
Woody Allen
2 Likes
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
Woody Allen
1 Likes
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
Woody Allen
0 Likes
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
Woody Allen
0 Likes
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I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
Woody Allen
6 Likes
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
Woody Allen
1 Likes
I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her.
Woody Allen
2 Likes
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Woody Allen
2 Likes
I am two with nature.
Woody Allen
0 Likes
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