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Drunk Status Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Drunk Status Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I don't want to hear you complain about the heat unless you are planning to take off all your clothes.
Unknown
80 Likes
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Dear middle finger, thank you for sticking up for me.
Unknown
1083 Likes
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11 year olds today are like: 'Omg I love smokin pot. I get like so drunk. Yolo!' Me when I was 11: 'I forgot to feed my Tamagotchi this morning.'
Unknown
371 Likes
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My doctor told me not to lift anything heavy for a few weeks. So now I have to sit down when I pee.
Unknown
664 Likes
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Children had a special status - protected from the outside world - and they dressed for the part in a way that made that special status immediately visible to themselves and the adults.
Maggie Gallagher
3 Likes
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May your daily meltdown be less public, drug-addled, and cartoonishly insane than Amanda Bynes's.
Unknown
29 Likes
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I wonder if Buzz and Woody ever met some of Andy's mom's toys. Especially since they probably have the same names...
Unknown
524 Likes
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If your girlfriend complains that you never take her anywhere expensive...take her to the gas station.
Seth Rogen
570 Likes
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Telling someone their breath smells without hurting their feelings...'Well I'm bored, let's go brush our teeth!'
Unknown
619 Likes
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Don't ever forget the 'L' if you ever Google, 'Grandfather Clock.'
Unknown
521 Likes
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I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.
Unknown
3730 Likes
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Keep your issues in your tissue box, and learn how to keep them out of your status box.
Unknown
157 Likes
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Best of luck not getting murdered by the roommate you found on Craigslist.
Unknown
55 Likes
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Diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in your jeans...
Unknown
265 Likes
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If abortion is murder, then are condoms kidnapping...
Unknown
479 Likes
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My ex boyfriends facebook status said 'Suicidal and standing on the edge.' ...So I poked him.
Unknown
1727 Likes
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You posted a status on your friend's Facebook when he wasn't looking? Please tell me how great of a hacker you are.
Unknown
236 Likes
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If I had to be any Kardashian sister, I would choose Bruce Jenner.
Unknown
61 Likes
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I hope the NSA is concerned about how often my mother calls me.
Unknown
42 Likes
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I dont mind ketchup on my hot dog, as long as the bun is tight.
Jon Lajoie
412 Likes
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