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Facebook Relationship Status Options Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Facebook Relationship Status Options Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
Unknown
948 Likes
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When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say "Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?"
Unknown
1346 Likes
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My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
Unknown
2332 Likes
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My bed and I have a special relationship, we're perfect for each other. But my alarm clock just hates seeing us together.
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509 Likes
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In today's world, the key to success is to delete your Facebook account!
Unknown
972 Likes
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I wonder if the clothes in China say, 'Made around the corner.'
Unknown
919 Likes
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Welcome to Facebook. The Weather today: An 80% chance of game requests, a 10% chance of pokes, and a 100% certainty of drama
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345 Likes
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In a few years priests will say, 'You may now change your relationship status to husband and wife.'
Unknown
213 Likes
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I was using Facebook hashtags before they worked.
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76 Likes
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Before s.... you help each other get naked, after s.. you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you're fu..ed.
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2197 Likes
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If people could read my mind, I'd get punched in the face a lot.
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1748 Likes
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I've had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
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85 Likes
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Admit it, at least once in our life we have all tried to balance the light switch between the on and off position.
Unknown
4765 Likes
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Just because I like your Facebook status does not mean I want to sleep, date, or hangout with you...
Oketa Ojok
8034 Likes
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'Are you as bored as I am?' Makes sense even when you read it backwards...
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1246 Likes
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Allowing gay marriages isn't nearly the gayest thing about California.
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40 Likes
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Sorry you're upset that three brutal murders by one of your players may impact your team's playoff chances.
Unknown
25 Likes
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I read something the other day that made me piss myself. It was a sign that said: 'Bathroom closed.'
Unknown
572 Likes
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The Miami Heat playing the San Antonio Spurs is the only way I could ever root for anything from Texas.
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41 Likes
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Let's all pretend we're shocked that a professional football player committed sociopathic violence.
Unknown
57 Likes
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