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Facebook Relationship Status Options Funny Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Facebook Relationship Status Options Funny" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.
Unknown
588 Likes
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Call me Spider-man because I'm in love with Mary Jane.
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235 Likes
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Closing all the internet windows by the time your boss gets to your desk is like getting the keys into the door before the killer gets you.
Unknown
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Our sincere condolences to the next woman Michael Douglas gives Catherine Zeta-Jones' HPV to.
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26 Likes
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I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering, 98 of them said: How the hell did you get in here?
Nikhil Saluja
208 Likes
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Hey I just met you, & this is crazy. But I'm on bath salts. You're face looks tasty!
Unknown
284 Likes
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Did you hear about the new reversible jackets? I can't wait to see how they turn out.
Nikhil Saluja
226 Likes
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I wish our s.. life was as passionate as your reaction to the casting news about Fifty Shades of Grey.
Unknown
67 Likes
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I said I'd be there in 5 minutes. Quit calling me every half hour.
Nikhil Saluja
277 Likes
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Before you marry someone, ask yourself, 'Will they be a good killing partner during the zombie apocalypse?'
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Rick Ross shirts be looking like a sheet from a King size bed!
Unknown
120 Likes
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Sorry the casting of Fifty Shades of Grey has caused you to completely revamp your mastur...... fantasies.
Unknown
63 Likes
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I just saved a whole bunch of money on my child support by switching to condoms.
Unknown
341 Likes
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Friends are like bum cheeks, shit comes between them but they always stick together.
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332 Likes
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Opening your cabinet, seeing there's about to be an avalanche of stuff falling, and quickly closing it for the next person to deal with.
Unknown
567 Likes
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They should name hurricanes with black people names. I'd be terrified of hurricane Shanaynay.
Unknown
307 Likes
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May the itch of a thousand crabs affect the one who ruins your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
Unknown
1005 Likes
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Never in my life have I seen a tombstone that read: Died for not forwarding that text to 10 people.
Unknown
475 Likes
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I get super paranoid whenever I walk into a store with something that they sell there...
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37 Likes
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I shaved my commute time in half by changing my car's horn to sound like gunfire.
Unknown
705 Likes
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