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Failing Facebook Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Failing Facebook Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I'm not sure how people get eaten by sharks...I mean how do you not hear the music?
Unknown
625 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Something is wrong with our government when I see people using food stamps and an iPhone.
Unknown
148 Likes
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That awkward moment when you're left alone with someone you just met.
Unknown
162 Likes
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Yolo is not an excuse to slut around.
Alex Wassabi
144 Likes
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Whatever you do in life, always give 100%...unless you're donating blood...
Unknown
450 Likes
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Dear cupid, next time hit us both!
Unknown
133 Likes
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'Results may vary.' means that it probably wont work for you at all.
Unknown
28 Likes
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Hey Verification Code, I have no idea what the f*ck that says but I swear I'm human.
Unknown
37 Likes
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That one bug that no matter how times you hit, just won't die.
Unknown
46 Likes
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I wonder if a receptionist at a sperm bank has ever used the phrase: 'Thanks for coming.'
Unknown
710 Likes
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There is no bigger waste of time than a shower followed by huge dump.
Unknown
42 Likes
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Drying only your hands, so you can reply to a text while in the shower.
Unknown
130 Likes
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I really like ceilings...I guess you could call me a Ceiling fan.
Unknown
269 Likes
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If a car behind me makes the same turn I do twice in a row, no doubt in my mind: I'm being followed...
Unknown
47 Likes
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When I'm depressed I cut myself...a piece of cake!
Unknown
253 Likes
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If cockroaches can survive a nuclear blast, what the hell is in raid?
Unknown
42 Likes
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Dear hoodies, thank you for always being there for me. Sincerely, I'm s..y and I know it, I'm just way too tired to show it.
Unknown
85 Likes
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Siri's on her period. She needs an iPad.
Unknown
167 Likes
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THEY'RE going THERE with THEIR friends. Seriously, it's not f*cking rocket science.
Unknown
42 Likes
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If I am ever in the middle of a shooting, I'll just lay on the floor and act like someone already killed me.
Unknown
117 Likes
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