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Funny Facebook Status Alarm Clocks Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Facebook Status Alarm Clocks" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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If abortion is murder, then are condoms kidnapping...
Unknown
479 Likes
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If I had to be any Kardashian sister, I would choose Bruce Jenner.
Unknown
61 Likes
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I will complain about my privacy being invaded by the government right after I update my dating profile to attract strangers on the internet.
Unknown
57 Likes
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Our deepest sympathies to Aaron Hernandez's fellow prison inmates on not getting someone as pretty as Tom Brady.
Unknown
47 Likes
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I dont mind ketchup on my hot dog, as long as the bun is tight.
Jon Lajoie
412 Likes
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As I was filling up my gas tank I realized I didn't want to eat this week anyways.
Unknown
296 Likes
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I decided to burn some calories so I set a fat kid on fire.
Unknown
281 Likes
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The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble.
Nikhil Saluja
487 Likes
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Somebody needs to start a restaurant called, 'Chick-Fil-Atheist' that's only open on Sunday.
Unknown
215 Likes
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At least my job description doesn't involve repairing the economy or being the new head football coach at Penn State.
Unknown
35 Likes
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Congratulations on buying a car that will go 0-60 in 5 seconds whether you want it to or not.
Unknown
56 Likes
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'Are you athletic?' Yes, I surf the Net.
Unknown
632 Likes
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You're so much better than A-Rod at concealing your drug use on the job.
Unknown
50 Likes
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Unless your name is GOOGLE...stop acting like you KNOW EVERYTHING...
Unknown
1570 Likes
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I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
Unknown
563 Likes
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Scientist say that universe is made up of Electrons, Protons and Neutrons...They forgot to mention MORONS...
Unknown
396 Likes
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If a bra is called an 'Over the shoulder bolder holder,' then would you call men's underwear 'Under the butt nut hut?'
Unknown
486 Likes
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James Gandolfini's heart attack at age 51 has inspired me to get in better shape after I finish rewatching all six seasons of The Sopranos.
Unknown
81 Likes
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I can't tell if you have a better life than me, or better photo filters.
Unknown
98 Likes
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For April Fools Day, I think Facebook should switch the search box and the status update box around. So people would post updates on who they stalk.
Unknown
6546 Likes
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