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Funny Facebook Statuses About Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Facebook Statuses About" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I just saw a fat guy with a shirt that said: I beat anorexia. Defiantly made my day.
Unknown
44 Likes
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If you can't afford po.., just turn on women's tennis and shut your eyes...
Unknown
371 Likes
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Whats the worst thing to do to a blind person? Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Unknown
327 Likes
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I don't care what they say, the first guy who milked a cow and drank it was a massive pervert.
Unknown
883 Likes
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I hate you but you were always there for me to not make me look ridiculous. I appreciate what you did for me. Thank You Auto-Correct.
Unknown
149 Likes
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Everyones middle name should be, motherfu..in...try it. Doesn't it sound so great?
Unknown
370 Likes
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If State Farm were such a good neighbor they'd come over and pick up all the dog shit in my yard.
Unknown
775 Likes
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Hey I just met you, and girl you look crazy, what brands your make-up, Crayola maybe?
Unknown
605 Likes
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I hate that feeling when everyone around me is in a relationship and I'm awkwardly sitting there like...I love my dog.
Unknown
397 Likes
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If you don't have an iPhone I feel bad for you, son. I got 99 Emojis & you can't see none.
Unknown
187 Likes
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Absolutely no one can text faster than a pissed off woman.
Unknown
589 Likes
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On a scale from Kristen Stewart to Nicki Minaj, how many different facial expressions do you have?
Unknown
264 Likes
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There is nothing as disgusting as the feeling you get the moment that your finger breaks through the toilet paper.
Unknown
305 Likes
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They say you are what you eat. Well that's funny...I don't recall eating a s..y beast today.
Unknown
100 Likes
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If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.
Hussein Nishah
317 Likes
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Thanks for inviting me to your baby shower, it reminded me to take my birth control pill.
Unknown
205 Likes
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I hate it when I'm singing a song and someone joins in! Please, this isn't Glee!
Unknown
242 Likes
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Is wondering who was the first to look at a cow and think: I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!
Unknown
223 Likes
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Whenever I talk with someone who stutters...I yell 'REMIX!' so they feel cool and shit.
Unknown
142 Likes
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If your relationship is so complicated that you have to specify it as such on Facebook, you should get off Facebook and fix it.
Unknown
143 Likes
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