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Funny Friday The 13 Th Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Friday The 13 Th Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
If State Farm were such a good neighbor they'd come over and pick up all the dog shit in my yard.
Unknown
775 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Absolutely no one can text faster than a pissed off woman.
Unknown
589 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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Women quotes
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Unknown
617 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
There is nothing as disgusting as the feeling you get the moment that your finger breaks through the toilet paper.
Unknown
305 Likes
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I hate that feeling when everyone around me is in a relationship and I'm awkwardly sitting there like...I love my dog.
Unknown
397 Likes
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If you can't afford po.., just turn on women's tennis and shut your eyes...
Unknown
371 Likes
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Whenever I talk with someone who stutters...I yell 'REMIX!' so they feel cool and shit.
Unknown
142 Likes
Facebook Status quotes
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When I kill a bug in my house, I leave the dead body around for a bit to warn the others.
Unknown
436 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
They say you are what you eat. Well that's funny...I don't recall eating a s..y beast today.
Unknown
100 Likes
Silly quotes
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I don't care what they say, the first guy who milked a cow and drank it was a massive pervert.
Unknown
883 Likes
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That Rebecca Black moment when you get on the bus & don't know which seat to take.
Unknown
368 Likes
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Chicken pot pie sounds like such a good idea. If you add commas.
Unknown
336 Likes
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Thanks for inviting me to your baby shower, it reminded me to take my birth control pill.
Unknown
205 Likes
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On a scale from Kristen Stewart to Nicki Minaj, how many different facial expressions do you have?
Unknown
264 Likes
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If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.
Hussein Nishah
317 Likes
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I hate it when I'm singing a song and someone joins in! Please, this isn't Glee!
Unknown
242 Likes
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Whats the worst thing to do to a blind person? Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Unknown
327 Likes
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Is wondering who was the first to look at a cow and think: I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!
Unknown
223 Likes
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I'm much more upset about Breaking Bad's shutdown than about the government's.
Unknown
107 Likes
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Sorry your decision to quietly change your relationship status was broadcast to every single one of your Facebook friends.
Unknown
13 Likes
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