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Funny Happy 4th Of Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Happy 4th Of" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Happy Mother's Day to a woman who thankfully will never be a candidate for the show Monster In-Laws.
Unknown
36 Likes
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Happy Mother's Day to the greatest mom in the world besides Michelle Obama.
Unknown
22 Likes
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Happy Mother's Day to someone smart enough to avoid motherhood.
Unknown
23 Likes
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Happy Mother's Day to someone whom I'm even more dependent on now than when I was in utero.
Unknown
8 Likes
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I was gonna make love to you, but then I got high. I was gonna eat yo pu... too, but then I got high. Now I'm jacking off... and I know why.
Afroman
100 Likes
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I was gonna go to court, before I got high. I was gonna pay my child support, but then I got high. They took my whole paycheck... and I know why.
Afroman
69 Likes
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I wasn't gonna run from the cops, but I was high. I was gonna pull right over and stop, but I was high. Now I am a paraplegic... and I know why.
Afroman
59 Likes
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If my boss knew how unproductive I am on Fridays, he wouldn't want me here either.
Unknown
178 Likes
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I was gonna pay my car note, until I got high. I wasn't gonna gamble on the boat, but then I got high. Now the tow truck is pulling away... and I know why.
Afroman
32 Likes
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If you ain't got a good job and you ain't smokin' weed, then I dont know what the fu.. you are doin' wit your life.
Katt Williams
924 Likes
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A friend with weed is a friend indeed.
Unknown
639 Likes
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I was gonna go to class, before I got high. I coulda cheated and I coulda passed, but I got high. I am taking it next semester... and I know why.
Afroman
125 Likes
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When you're single, all you see are happy couples. When you're committed, all you see are happy singles.
Unknown
606 Likes
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Don't do drugs because if you do drugs you'll go to prison, and drugs are really expensive in prison.
John Hardwick
251 Likes
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I was gonna clean my room, until I got high. I was gonna get up and find the broom, but then I got high. My room is still messed up... and I know why.
Afroman
106 Likes
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They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do, just as well. You just realize that it's not worth the fu..ing effort. There is a difference.
Bill Hicks
505 Likes
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Happy Mother's Day to someone who expects to be treated like a queen on this and every other day.
Unknown
22 Likes
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Happy Hump Day and Happy Leap Day everyone! Put them together, and you get an odd conversation with your spouse.
Unknown
9 Likes
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Good morning everybody. Happy Friday! On a scale of 1 to Rebecca Black, how much do you love Friday?
Unknown
160 Likes
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As part of a balanced breakfast on 4/20, don't forget to eat your Weedies!
Unknown
332 Likes
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