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Funny Morning Facebook Statusirls Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Morning Facebook Statusirls" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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When I was born I was so surprised, I didnt talk for a year and a half!
Unknown
358 Likes
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Each morning comes with renewed hope, another chance and a great opportunity to do better than we did yesterday.
Mufti Ismail Menk
168 Likes
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It's really nice to wake up in the morning realizing that God has given you another day to live.
Unknown
555 Likes
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One of the joys in life is waking up each day with thoughts that somewhere, someone cares enough to send a warm morning greeting! Good morning and enjoy the day!
Unknown
166 Likes
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Don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, don't sell drugs. The government hates competition.
Hussein Nishah
526 Likes
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God has no Phone but I talk to him. He has no Facebook but he is still my friend. He does not have a twitter but I still follow him.
Unknown
344 Likes
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Sleep is my drug, my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is the police.
Unknown
332 Likes
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Unknown
83 Likes
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Dear God, I Just Want To Say Good Morning.Thank You For Wakening Me Up On This Saturday Morning. You Did Not Have Too But, You Did. I Am Grateful That You Did...You Seen I Been Through A lot For these Pass Weeks. You Help Me Through It.I Just Want To Say Thank You. I will always know I will always put you first before anything..Love You Have A Great Day
Unknown
301 Likes
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Good morning! Remember you only get 1 mom, 1 dad, 1 God and 1 life...cherish them while you can.
Unknown
197 Likes
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I dont make enough money to go on vacation, so I'm just going to get drunk this weekend until I dont know where I am.
Unknown
382 Likes
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Oh, it's sunny outside. I better update my Facebook status for all of my friends that don't have windows.
Unknown
3329 Likes
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A drunken man was dreaming that he died and reincarnated on earth as a chicken. He became heavy and tried to lay an egg! He pushed and pushed and laid the 1st egg, then the 2nd. He was pushing to lay a 3rd egg when his wife screamed ''James! You're shitting on the bed!"
Unknown
604 Likes
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I'm pretty sure the whole ladies first thing was created by a guy just to check out ass.
Unknown
2760 Likes
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My wife and I are trying to have a child. But it's so hard to take one out of Chuck E Cheese without anyone noticing...
Unknown
232 Likes
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Wanna hear a joke about my pe..s? Never mind, it's too long.
Unknown
3462 Likes
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Got in a wreck with a smart car today, its totaled. My bike is fine though.
Unknown
308 Likes
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I last longer than Obamacare call center wait times.
Unknown
310 Likes
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That awkward moment when people start stuff on your Facebook status and you just don't want to get involved.
Unknown
154 Likes
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This Saturday has been sponsored by Tylenol and Jack Daniels.
Unknown
125 Likes
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