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Funny That Comes From Jack Handeyjack Handey Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny That Comes From Jack Handeyjack Handey" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Love is not something that you can put chains on and throw into a lake. That's called Houdini. Love is liking someone a lot.
Jack Handey
33 Likes
Weird Love quotes
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If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. But ONLY if you're serious about adopting the vulture. - Deep Thoughts (Saturday Night Live)
Jack Handey
21 Likes
Love quotes
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He's as good at his age as Jack (Nicklaus) was, and look at what Jack has done in the gime of golf. That's the highest praise I can give anyone, to compare him to Jack Nicklaus.
Michael Bonallack
1 Likes
Funny quotes
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The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the short straw. In this case it was the rain forest.
Jack Dee
37 Likes
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Grammar is important! Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your Uncle jack off a horse.
Unknown
1973 Likes
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Senator, I served with Jack Kennedy, I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy.
Lloyd Bentsen
0 Likes
He's as good at his age as Jack (Nicklaus) was, and look at what Jack has done in the gime of golf. That's the highest praise I can give anyone, to compare him to Jack Nicklaus.
Michael Bonallack
1 Likes
Golf quotes
I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.
Jack Benny
12 Likes
Funny quotes
Death quotes
It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a bi....
Jack Nicholson
77 Likes
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I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.
Jack Benny
303 Likes
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Countrytime Caravan Repairs Geraldton supposedly repaired my Trail a Mate Jack??? charged $92 for a $45 job, I supplied the repair kit and the Hydraulic Jack Oil. Repair was not carried out succesfully as the jack fades and will not hold its position. Very poor service and no consideration for the customer
Hanson Melbourne
0 Likes
Hate The Incompetence quotes
This Saturday has been sponsored by Tylenol and Jack Daniels.
Unknown
125 Likes
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It's hard not to play golf that's up to Jack Nicklaus standards when you are Jack Nicklaus.
Jack Nicklaus
6 Likes
Having said that, I'm a huge Jack Nicholson fan because he just goes nuts in everything he does. Having Jack in his heyday would also be a dream come true.
Paul Kane
0 Likes
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We saw very little of the real Jack Buck behind the microphone. He would touch people in ways that we will never know. Jack was much more than just an announcer.
Ozzie Smith
2 Likes
These ol' bars 'bout to break my back. Oh boys, can't you line 'em, Jack-a Jack-a. See Eloise go linin' track.
Lead Belly
0 Likes
I have a theory of relatives, too. Don't hire 'em.
Jack L Warner
61 Likes
Funny quotes
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Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, youre the best.
Jack Nicklaus
6 Likes
Funny quotes
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On brushing teeth with Jack: I have. I woke up in Vegas once and there was no toothpaste, but there was some leftover Jack Daniels. I figured it would be good for my morning breath.
Kesha
12 Likes
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