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Funny Toilet Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Toilet Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Scientist say that universe is made up of Electrons, Protons and Neutrons...They forgot to mention MORONS...
Unknown
396 Likes
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If each day is a gift, I would like to know where I can return Mondays.
Unknown
501 Likes
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I only got a toilet seat cushion so my face would be comfortable after an intense night of drinking.
Unknown
45 Likes
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If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go to the hospital because that sounds serious.
Unknown
795 Likes
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Deja Vu is when God thinks something is so funny, that he has to rewind it to show it to his friends.
Unknown
509 Likes
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I'll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go out to buy new ones.
Unknown
362 Likes
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I was going to make a gay joke...butt f*ck it...
Unknown
618 Likes
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James Gandolfini's heart attack at age 51 has inspired me to get in better shape after I finish rewatching all six seasons of The Sopranos.
Unknown
81 Likes
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If a bra is called an 'Over the shoulder bolder holder,' then would you call men's underwear 'Under the butt nut hut?'
Unknown
486 Likes
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The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.
Bob Monkhouse
24 Likes
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I can't tell if you have a better life than me, or better photo filters.
Unknown
98 Likes
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When girls hack a friends Facebook account: 'I love you b*tch!' When boys hack a friends Facebook account: 'I LOVE D*CK IN MY MOUTH!'
Unknown
843 Likes
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In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have one? Then it's probably you.
Will Ferrell
1154 Likes
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Start the day off right...On the toilet...Shitting out yesterday's bullshit getting ready to digest today.
Marlon Wayans
65 Likes
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I wonder if fat drug dealers sell diet coke.
Charlie Sheen
2230 Likes
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This is one of those mornings where I'll be picking the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms and throwing the rest away.
Unknown
430 Likes
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Here's to Kim Kardashian and Kanye West for not making anyone else be married to them.
Unknown
240 Likes
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I always write 'Wake Up' on my To-Do-List so I can at least accomplish one thing a day.
Unknown
813 Likes
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Being popular on Facebook is like sitting at the cool table in the cafeteria at a mental hospital.
Unknown
1468 Likes
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I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This.
Unknown
14673 Likes
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