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George Carlin 60th Birthday Jokeshole Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "George Carlin 60th Birthday Jokeshole" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity
George Carlin
5 Likes
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
George Carlin
10 Likes
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it
George Carlin
14 Likes
God quotes
I wish you a lovely day, not just today because it is your birthday, but all year round. May you always wake up in the morning with a smile on your face. Happy Birthday to you.
Unknown
666 Likes
Birthday quotes
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Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
Unknown
66 Likes
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin
6 Likes
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
George Carlin
6 Likes
Atheism is a non-prophet organization
George Carlin
44 Likes
God quotes
Funny Catholic quotes
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
George Carlin
10 Likes
Funny quotes
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
George Carlin
7 Likes
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Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!
George Carlin
10 Likes
Humanity quotes
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Where's the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
George Carlin
6 Likes
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin
11 Likes
Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac
George Carlin
24 Likes
Funny quotes
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin
3 Likes
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Well, I'm kinda like George Carlin. I think that there ought to be a time where everybody should have all the drugs they want and there'd be nobody in charge, sort of like... now!
Paul Haggis
0 Likes
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
George Carlin
18 Likes
Addiction quotes
If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work
George Carlin
6 Likes
Smile quotes
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
George Carlin
4 Likes
All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much.
George Harrison
925 Likes
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