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George Carlin Pet Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "George Carlin Pet" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it
George Carlin
14 Likes
God quotes
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You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.
George Carlin
6 Likes
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin
6 Likes
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
George Carlin
7 Likes
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
George Carlin
10 Likes
Funny quotes
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization
George Carlin
44 Likes
God quotes
Funny Catholic quotes
I got a house on my neck, my Panamera my pet. We bought ringside seats, and got a brick I can pet.
Rick Ross
3 Likes
If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work
George Carlin
6 Likes
Smile quotes
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
George Carlin
4 Likes
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
George Carlin
18 Likes
Addiction quotes
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Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac
George Carlin
24 Likes
Funny quotes
Driving quotes
Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!
George Carlin
10 Likes
Humanity quotes
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
George Carlin
11 Likes
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin
3 Likes
Humanity quotes
Well, I'm kinda like George Carlin. I think that there ought to be a time where everybody should have all the drugs they want and there'd be nobody in charge, sort of like... now!
Paul Haggis
0 Likes
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Where's the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
George Carlin
6 Likes
When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse.
George Carlin
9 Likes
Movies quotes
If a movie is described as a romantic comedy you can usually find me next door playing pinball
George Carlin
0 Likes
Movies quotes
The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.
George Carlin
23 Likes
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You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
George Carlin
21 Likes
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