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Homeless Man Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Homeless Man Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
People make jokes about my bosoms, why don't they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It's obvious I've got big ones and if people want to assume they're not mine, then let them.
Dolly Parton
35 Likes
Jokes quotes
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For every ten jokes, thou hast got a hundred enemies
Laurence Sterne
8 Likes
Enemies quotes
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With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
Rodney Dangerfield
152 Likes
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If a red head guy works at a bakery, does that make him a ginger bread man?
Unknown
78 Likes
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A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
Milton Berle
47 Likes
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My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it. I never did like to work, and I don't deny it. I'd rather read, tell stories, crack jokes, talk, laugh - anything but work.
Abraham Lincoln
271 Likes
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I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
Marilyn Monroe
100 Likes
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I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.
Marilyn Monroe
304 Likes
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Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period.
Unknown
1251 Likes
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I had plenty of pi.ples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
Rodney Dangerfield
87 Likes
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Our show was - it remained - you know, kids could watch it and laugh at it. And they wouldn't know - they wouldn't get the jokes. But they would laugh at it. So they tell me now they have grown up and they're watching it. Now they get the jokes. But we didn't say anything blatant.
Rue McClanahan
1 Likes
One night a man and a woman are both at a bar knocking back a few beers. They start talking and come to realize that they're both doctors. After about an hour, the man says to the woman, Hey. How about if we sleep together tonight. No strings attached. It'll just be one night of fun. The woman doctor agrees to it. So they go back to her place and he goes in the bedroom. She goes in the bathroom and starts scrubbing up like she's about to go into the operating room. She scrubs for a good 10 minutes. Finally she goes in the bedroom and they have s.. for an hour or so. Afterwards, the man says to the woman, You're a surgeon, aren't you? Yeah, how did you know? The man says, I could tell by the way you scrubbed up before we started. Oh, that makes sense, says the woman. Youre an anesthesiologist aren't you? Yeah, says the man, a bit surprised. How did you know? The woman answers, Because I didn't feel a thing.
Unknown
341 Likes
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I think of myself as a writer with a sense of humor rather than a comedy writer. Happy to tell a story with lots of jokes in it, I wouldn't know how to do jokes without the story.
Steven Moffat
6 Likes
Seven out of 10 Americans are one paycheck away from being homeless.
Pras Michel
1 Likes
I've been homeless. I've worked at 7-Eleven.
Dennis Rodman
0 Likes
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I wish I were able to provide housing for all the homeless, like its so cold outside.
Unknown
10 Likes
What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Nobody nose.
Unknown
261 Likes
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Slut jokes are just whor..able.
Unknown
524 Likes
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I have always felt a little homeless. It's a strange thing.
Annie Lennox
1 Likes
If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.
Bo Burnham
80 Likes
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