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Jack Handy Birthday Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Jack Handy Birthday" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.
Jack Handy
18 Likes
Love quotes
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I don't like small birds. They hop around so merrily outside my window, looking so innocent. but I know that secretly, they're watching my every move and plotting to beat me over the head with a large steel pipe and take my shoe.
Jack Handy
25 Likes
Animals quotes
I'm taking your birthday as an opportunity to thank you for all that you are to me. I will never be able to forget the support that you have given me. Happy Birthday, my sugar lumps! May your birthday be as sweet as you are.
Unknown
118 Likes
Birthday quotes
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Yippee your birthday is finally here. It is time to party! It is time to sing and dance, and it is time for birthday bumps! May you have a delicious and partylicious birthday!
Unknown
441 Likes
Birthday quotes
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I wish you a lovely day, not just today because it is your birthday, but all year round. May you always wake up in the morning with a smile on your face. Happy Birthday to you.
Unknown
666 Likes
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Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
Unknown
66 Likes
Birthday quotes
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If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that's another weakness
Jack Handy
17 Likes
Weakness quotes
Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail.
Jack Handy
25 Likes
Love quotes
I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder weapons sale. Many people could really use used ice picks.
Jack Handy
5 Likes
Money quotes
Weapons quotes
Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.
Jack Handy
6 Likes
Love quotes
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If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.
Jack Handy
19 Likes
Cowardice quotes
Danger quotes
If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.
Jack Handy
16 Likes
Danger quotes
Cowardice quotes
I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, Yahoo!, I'd have all my money back.
Jack Handy
12 Likes
Money quotes
My heart felt wishes and blessings are coming your way on the wonderful occasion of your birthday. I will pray that you receive more than you have hoped for this birthday. Happy Birthday.
Unknown
1505 Likes
Birthday Wishes quotes
May your smile get brighter with each passing year. Wishing you a lot of surprises and happiness on your 65th Birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Unknown
89 Likes
65th Birthday quotes
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On your birthday, I just want to remind you that you are the best person I have ever met in my whole life. Don't bother what anybody else has to say, you have changed my life and I will never forget that. Happy Birthday to you, my dearest friend.
Unknown
655 Likes
Birthday quotes
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Happy Birthday to the most lovable and adorable star on this planet. May your birthday bring you good luck to last for the whole year. Happy Birthday to you!
Unknown
794 Likes
Birthday Wishes quotes
If I live to see your grandchildren, I'm going to tell them all the Birthday pranks we played on you every year. Get ready for your Birthday prank today as well. Happy Birthday! We're coming for you!
Unknown
1468 Likes
Happy Birthday quotes
You are such a sweetheart babe! I just love you too much. On your birthday, I promise to keep all your secrets, to flood you with gifts and never to miss a chance to make you smile. Happy Birthday, my dearest sister.
Unknown
793 Likes
Sister quotes
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Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words mank and ind. What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind.
Jack Handy
16 Likes
Love quotes
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