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Pylis Diller Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Pylis Diller" sorted by relevance. 57 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
Phyllis Diller
1 Likes
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Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.
Phyllis Diller
2 Likes
Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.
Phyllis Diller
10 Likes
Negative Friendship quotes
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once
Phyllis Diller
10 Likes
Mistakes quotes
Bachelors quotes
I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
Phyllis Diller
8 Likes
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He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
Phyllis Diller
11 Likes
Funny quotes
Putdowns quotes
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once
Phyllis Diller
10 Likes
Mistakes quotes
Bachelors quotes
Men quotes
Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
Phyllis Diller
7 Likes
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
Phyllis Diller
3 Likes
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
Phyllis Diller
20 Likes
Funny quotes
Marriage quotes
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The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
Phyllis Diller
2 Likes
My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
Phyllis Diller
5 Likes
My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee.
Phyllis Diller
6 Likes
The American public tunes in every night hoping to see two people screwing. Obviously, we can't give them that but let's always keep it in mind.
Barry Diller
1 Likes
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
Phyllis Diller
6 Likes
Housekeeping quotes
Sponsored Links
I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Phyllis Diller
37 Likes
Funny quotes
Mom quotes
Mothers Day quotes
Jokes quotes
There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
Phyllis Diller
4 Likes
There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
Phyllis Diller
62 Likes
Funny quotes
Sex quotes
Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
Phyllis Diller
4 Likes
Funny quotes
Age quotes
If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
Phyllis Diller
7 Likes
Baseball quotes
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