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Rodney Dangerfield R Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Rodney Dangerfield R" sorted by relevance. 132 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met
Rodney Dangerfield
130 Likes
Funny quotes
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One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control.
Rodney Dangerfield
1 Likes
My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.
Rodney Dangerfield
2 Likes
I was so poor growing up...if I wasn't a boy...I'd have nothing to play with.
Rodney Dangerfield
13 Likes
Funny quotes
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I'm so ugly - I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get
Rodney Dangerfield
7 Likes
Ugliness quotes
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I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
Rodney Dangerfield
7 Likes
Cheating quotes
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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
Rodney Dangerfield
4 Likes
Drinking quotes
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
Rodney Dangerfield
6 Likes
Funny quotes
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield
24 Likes
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I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going.
Rodney Dangerfield
4 Likes
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My cousins gay, he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock.
Rodney Dangerfield
8 Likes
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
Rodney Dangerfield
62 Likes
Funny quotes
Parents quotes
And the only studies were - Rodney Dangerfield was my mentor and he was my Yale drama school for comedy.
Robert Klein
0 Likes
I told my psychiatrist everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous; everyone hasn't met me yet
Rodney Dangerfield
34 Likes
Hilarious quotes
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My wife met me at the door the other night in a s..y negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.
Rodney Dangerfield
4 Likes
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I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
Rodney Dangerfield
24 Likes
Psychiatry quotes
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This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me.
Rodney Dangerfield
4 Likes
When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father ... I'm very sorry. We did everything we could ... but he pulled through.
Rodney Dangerfield
65 Likes
Funny quotes
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I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.
Rodney Dangerfield
149 Likes
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I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Rodney Dangerfield
19 Likes
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