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Unknown Funny Dayoff Workhole Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Unknown Funny Dayoff Workhole" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I failed my Driver's test. Driving teacher: 'What do you do at a red light?' Me: 'I usually respond to texts and check my Facebook.'
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I always thought by 2013 we would have flying cars. Instead, we have blankets with sleeves.
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Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
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If swimming is such a good way to stay in shape; Explain whales...
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I like my women like I like my weekend - short, filled with liquor and gone by Monday.
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At the gym Boy doing sit-ups: '1...2...3...' Hot girl walks by Boy: '97...98...99...'
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Let's kiss on New Year's Eve 2013 as if we might have a future together in 2014.
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My New Year's resolution is to stop lying to myself about making lifestyle changes.
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Let's pencil each other in for a New Year's Eve kiss, with the understanding we'll drop each other if someone better comes along.
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Let's put significant pressure on ourselves to have a fun New Year's Eve.
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When I was a kid, I used to sing, 'A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P'
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Going to McDonald's for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
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My parents told me 'You watch too much TV and should try reading more!' So I turned on the subtitles.
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Nothing makes me want a relationship to fail more than matching profile pictures.
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Let's never speak of 2013 again.
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Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is... your list with names of naughty girls.
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I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.
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Thanks for inviting me to a New Year's party I'll have no recollection of attending.
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This year let's resolve to make better bad decisions.
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Having fun in the sun, getting laid in the shade, summer's here...
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