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Funny Facebook Status Quotes & Sayings

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Total: 223 Quotes
When someone looks at your baby pictures and jokingly says 'Aww you were soo cute! What happened?' Tell them; 'B*tch, I got sexy, that's what happened.'
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About:  Funny Facebook Status quotes 
Suggest Revision: When someone looks at your baby pictures and jokingly says 'Aww you were soo cute! What happened?' Tell them; 'B*tch, I got sexy, that's what happened.'
  
So I won't give up alcohol, boys, being judgmental or sarcasm but I'll definitely give up drunk texting for Lent.
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About:  Girl quotes   Funny Facebook Status quotes   Twitter quotes 
Suggest Revision: So I won't give up alcohol, boys, being judgmental or sarcasm but I'll definitely give up drunk texting for Lent.
  
If we all end up in prison one day for illegal music downloads, I can only hope that they divide us by music genres.
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About:  Funny Facebook Status quotes   Music quotes 
Suggest Revision: If we all end up in prison one day for illegal music downloads, I can only hope that they divide us by music genres.
  
I hate it when I tell someone I'll be there in 15 minutes yet they choose to call me every half an hour anyway.
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About:  Funny Facebook Status quotes 
Suggest Revision: I hate it when I tell someone I'll be there in 15 minutes yet they choose to call me every half an hour anyway.
  
I realized Facebook was a drug when I caught myself sneaking into the bathroom at work just to use it.
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About:  Funny Facebook Status quotes 
Suggest Revision: I realized Facebook was a drug when I caught myself sneaking into the bathroom at work just to use it.
  
One time at the beach this guy was swimming in the ocean yelling 'Help! Shark! Help!'. I just laughed, I knew that shark was not going to help him.
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About:  Funny Facebook Status quotes 
Suggest Revision: One time at the beach this guy was swimming in the ocean yelling 'Help! Shark! Help!'. I just laughed, I knew that shark was not going to help him.
  
They changed the name to 'Facebook' because 'Stalk My Ex' seemed a little too creepy.
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About:  Funny Facebook Status quotes 
Suggest Revision: They changed the name to 'Facebook' because 'Stalk My Ex' seemed a little too creepy.
  
Online dating is now like eating at Denny's thanks to photoshop, in person your order looks nothing like the photo on the menu.
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About:  Funny Facebook Status quotes 
Suggest Revision: Online dating is now like eating at Denny's thanks to photoshop, in person your order looks nothing like the photo on the menu.
  
Why am I the weird one for browsing through your pictures? You're the one who uploaded over a thousand pictures of yourself.
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About:  Funny Facebook Status quotes 
Suggest Revision: Why am I the weird one for browsing through your pictures? You're the one who uploaded over a thousand pictures of yourself.
  
Laughter is always the best medicine... unless you have diarrhea.
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About:  Laughter quotes   Funny Facebook Status quotes 
Suggest Revision: Laughter is always the best medicine... unless you have diarrhea.
  
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Face book is a very popular social networking website, interconnecting millions across the world. Face book, originally called Face smash, is a brainchild of Mark Zuckerberg. There are various applications, games and other interactive features that face book provides to all its members. Every member who has an account on face book has a homepage which is popularly called the "wall". On the wall, there is a space, where the face book user can speak his mind and use it to communicate or share his feelings with other face book users, whom he or she has listed as his friends. Funny face book status indicates any such status update which generates a lot of laughter and which people find really amazing. In the words of Sophia Bush, "I think the sexiest thing on anybody is intelligence. I respect somebody who has a brain and wants to use it more than a pretty face and status."
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