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Woody Allen Quotes & Sayings
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171 entries tagged including 81 subtopics.
Last updated May 2024
Woody Allen Topics
Chess
Happiness
Achievement
Immortality
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Appearance
Food
Failure
Luck
Cheating
Soul
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America And Americans
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Death And Dying
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QUOTES
I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens
Woody Allen
116 Likes
Death And Dying quotes
Humor quotes
Funny quotes
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And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they rent out my room.
Woody Allen
219 Likes
Funny quotes
Parents quotes
Don't knock mastur...... - it's s.. with someone I love
Woody Allen
113 Likes
Sex quotes
Funny quotes
Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.
Woody Allen
82 Likes
Men And Women quotes
Love quotes
Relationships quotes
Compromise quotes
Contentment quotes
Attraction quotes
I don't know the question, but s.. is definitely the answer.
Woody Allen
95 Likes
Funny quotes
Sex quotes
Humor quotes
Sponsored Links
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.
Woody Allen
134 Likes
Love quotes
Suffering quotes
Comedy quotes
Writers quotes
S.. is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to s...
Woody Allen
128 Likes
Funny quotes
Sex quotes
The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.
Woody Allen
87 Likes
Funny quotes
Sex quotes
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Woody Allen
326 Likes
Cheating quotes
Soul quotes
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Woody Allen
115 Likes
Loneliness quotes
Misery quotes
Suffering quotes
Life Is Too Short quotes
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S.. is the most fun you can have without laughing.
Woody Allen
55 Likes
Sex quotes
A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we've got on our hands is a dead shark.
Woody Allen
51 Likes
Bad Relationship quotes
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Woody Allen
94 Likes
Motivational quotes
Fitness quotes
Motivational Workout quotes
Inspirational Workout quotes
Remember, if you smoke after s.. you're doing it too fast.
Woody Allen
57 Likes
Sex quotes
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Smoking quotes
Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.
Woody Allen
99 Likes
Food quotes
Funny quotes
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Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
Woody Allen
27 Likes
Bad Day quotes
S.. without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best.
Woody Allen
36 Likes
Sex quotes
The difference between s.. and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Woody Allen
42 Likes
Sex quotes
Bis..uality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Woody Allen
26 Likes
Dating quotes
If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
Woody Allen
24 Likes
God quotes
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May 05
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