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Funny Sarcastic Lines Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Sarcastic Lines" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I know its not Christmas, but Santa's lap is always ready.
Unknown
143 Likes
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Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Johnny Carson
42 Likes
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I think we're the only jokeless show on television. I mean really, we have no setups and no punch lines. It's not a joke show. There are funny lines and funny moments but again the comedy is born of the human experience and awkward pauses are a great part of what it is to be human.
Rainn Wilson
87 Likes
Nowadays they have 12 directors and 15 producers and 30 writers. And all the writers want their lines said a certain way-which isn't necessarily funny. I mean the lines aren't necessarily so funny to begin with.
Tim Conway
0 Likes
Did you buy your pants on sale? Cause in my room they'd be 100% off.
Mitchell Sakundiak
357 Likes
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Are you from Iraq? Because I think you should Baghdad a.. up.
Unknown
265 Likes
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I am sitting here looking at the most amazing person I have ever seen, smart, funny, caring, and absolutely stunning! Yes, I am looking in the mirror!
Ash Sweeney
585 Likes
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As full lines of battle could not be handled through the thick wood, I ordered the advance of the six brigades by heavy skirmish lines, to be followed by stronger supporting lines.
James Longstreet
6 Likes
Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while. (X) fu.. it. I'll buy my own shit.
Unknown
917 Likes
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In this age, I dont care how tactically or operationally brilliant you are, if you cannot create harmony even vicious harmony on the battlefield based on trust across service lines, across coalition and national lines, and across civilian/military lines, you need to go home, because your leadership is obsolete. We have got to have officers who can create harmony across all those lines.
James Mattis
26 Likes
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There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.
Jean Baudrillard
38 Likes
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Don't you hate it when you're doing push-ups and you lose count after 1,000...
Unknown
147 Likes
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You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best.
Unknown
22 Likes
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Talk is cheap, but that's ok, so are you.
Unknown
60 Likes
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The awkward moment when you actually have to tell someone that you're being sarcastic.
Unknown
118 Likes
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I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.
Unknown
37 Likes
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Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.
Unknown
55 Likes
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I bet you get bullied a lot....
Unknown
24 Likes
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You're a habit I'd like to kick - with both feet.
Unknown
32 Likes
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Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.
Unknown
36 Likes
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