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Funny Uncle Birthd Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Uncle Birthd" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.
Jack Handey
63 Likes
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Grammar is important! Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your Uncle jack off a horse.
Unknown
1973 Likes
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Uncle Rico: Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile. Kip: Are you serious? Uncle Rico: I'm dead serious.
Napoleon Dynamite
0 Likes
Uncle Rico: Back in '82, I used to be able to throw a pigskin a quarter mile. Kip: Are you serious? Uncle Rico: I'm dead serious.
Napoleon Dynamite
2 Likes
You can tell your uncle stuff that you could not tell your dad. That is kind of the role of an uncle. I feel very much like a father sometimes but sometimes I feel like a teammate.
Dusty Baker
27 Likes
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My uncle was a hero, Lewis Roundtree. He was not even related to me really, but he was always called my uncle. He was like a father to me. I was closer to him than I was my father.
Ed Bradley
6 Likes
My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
Rodney Dangerfield
12 Likes
Funny quotes
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The honest reason was my niece and nephew weren't allowed to see Uncle Vin movies, and they're my biggest fans. I guess I got a little sick of, 'No, you can't come to this one no, you can't come to that one.' And they're, 'But I saw the poster, Uncle Vin.'
Vin Diesel
41 Likes
Right now, I'm worth a million dollars, and I owe Uncle Sam a million-and-a-half dollars, and I made a deal with him. I said, 'Uncle Sam, I'm going to pay you 25 grand a month.'
Robert Blake
2 Likes
I have journalism everywhere-mother, father, aunts, uncle and grandparents. I think I have a strong journalistic streak in me-I'm really critical and analytical. It's funny, because my husband is Italian, and Italians have this tendency to exaggerate all the time.
Olivia Wilde
2 Likes
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The anger that Uncle Junior has comes from my background. My father was the son of an Italian immigrant, and I've seen the fire of the Italian temperament. It can be explosive sometimes in ways that are both funny and tragic.
Dominic Chianese
3 Likes
Napoleon Dynamite: What are you doing here, Uncle Rico? Uncle Rico: Grandma took a little spill at the sand dunes today. Broke her coccyx.
Napoleon Dynamite
6 Likes
Napoleon Dynamite: What are you doing here, Uncle Rico? Uncle Rico: Grandma took a little spill at the sand dunes today. Broke her coccyx.
Napoleon Dynamite
10 Likes
This is my passion and I go hard at it on a daily basis just like the next man that wants this does. Im not seeking help from my dad or uncle because I believe the feeling of me making it will feel much greater by putting in that hard work and dedication. My dads super proud he just heard the whole tape only like 3 days ago so hes real pleased. Same with my uncle and Jojo they are proud of it.
Diggy Simmons
16 Likes
It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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Better to want something and not have it, than to have something and not want it.
Uncle Phil
9 Likes
Better to have something and not need it, than need something and not have it.
Uncle Phil
7 Likes
I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it. He feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damn fool idealistic crusade like your father did. It's your father's lightsaber. This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or as random as a blaster, but an elegant weapon for a more civilized age. For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times, before the Empire.
Alec Guinness
26 Likes
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My uncle always said that I could have been a rancher.
Robert Duvall
1 Likes
Maybe! Maybe! Maybe if your aunt had a beard, she'd be your uncle.
Alvah Bessie
3 Likes
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