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Funny Unknown Sarcastic Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Unknown Sarcastic" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Johnny Carson
42 Likes
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Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while. (X) fu.. it. I'll buy my own shit.
Unknown
917 Likes
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Don't you hate it when you're doing push-ups and you lose count after 1,000...
Unknown
147 Likes
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You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best.
Unknown
22 Likes
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Talk is cheap, but that's ok, so are you.
Unknown
60 Likes
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I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.
Unknown
37 Likes
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The awkward moment when you actually have to tell someone that you're being sarcastic.
Unknown
118 Likes
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Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.
Unknown
55 Likes
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You're a habit I'd like to kick - with both feet.
Unknown
32 Likes
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Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.
Unknown
39 Likes
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I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
Unknown
45 Likes
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I bet you get bullied a lot....
Unknown
24 Likes
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Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.
Unknown
36 Likes
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Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you any worse advice.
Unknown
30 Likes
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What's wrong, don't you get any attention back home?
Unknown
21 Likes
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If the 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still 2?
Unknown
224 Likes
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Always remember that you are unique; just like everyone else.
Unknown
483 Likes
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I lost my coat, hopefully someone didn't jacket.
Unknown
78 Likes
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I hate it when the cashier's ask, 'Is that everything?' Uhh, no. I'd also like to purchase all of this invisible sh*t as well...
Unknown
296 Likes
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When I said I'd hit that I meant with my car.
Unknown
400 Likes
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