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Religious Funny A Pastor Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Religious Funny A Pastor" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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The Pastor said, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
Unknown
79 Likes
Funny Easter quotes
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Every religious group, while perhaps a majority somewhere, is also inevitably a minority somewhere else. Thus, religious organizations should and do show tolerance toward members of other religious denominations.
Russell M Nelson
0 Likes
I think every religious person should have a deep sense of respect for other people's religious documents and religious symbols just as we were deeply opposed to the Taliban destroying the two historic buddhas which they blew up. So I think we ought to all oppose burning the Koran.
Newt Gingrich
3 Likes
I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.
Peter Ustinov
6 Likes
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I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me superman.
Homer Simpson
35 Likes
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I am only doing my part to piss off the pious religious folks.
Unknown
23 Likes
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Rita Rudner
11 Likes
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Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Fulton Sheen
14 Likes
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Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law.
Sholom Aleichem
12 Likes
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Religious quotes
Health care should be affordable for everyone.
Ed Pastor
3 Likes
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It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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On religious issues there can be little or no compromise. There is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious beliefs. There is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than Jesus Christ, or God, or Allah, or whatever one calls this supreme being. But like any powerful weapon, the use of God's name on one's behalf should be used sparingly. The religious factions that are growing throughout our land are not using their religious clout with wisdom. They are trying to force government leaders into following their position 100 percent. If you disagree with these religious groups on a particular moral issue, they complain, they threaten you with a loss of money or votes or both. I'm frankly sick and tired of the political preachers across this country telling me as a citizen that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in A, B, C, and D. Just who do they think they are? And from where do they presume to claim the right to dictate their moral belie
Barry Goldwater
92 Likes
Religion quotes
I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
Joan Rivers
12 Likes
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I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
Bob Davies
0 Likes
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Make health care a right, not a privilege.
Ed Pastor
2 Likes
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Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!'
Conan O'Brien
8 Likes
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It is true that the Chinese are not so religious as the Hindus, or even as the Japanese; and they are certainly not so religious as the Christian missionaries desire them to be.
Hu Shih
0 Likes
Members of weakly religious families get, of course, no religious training from any source outside the family.
Gregory Bateson
0 Likes
I like to sing very much. I teach metaphysics and pastor a church.
Della Reese
1 Likes
Stopping Vieques bombing range good; sooner is better.
Ed Pastor
0 Likes
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