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I only got a toilet seat cushion so my face would be comfortable after an intense night of drinking.
Unknown
45 Likes
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I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.
Shelley Winters
26 Likes
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A diet is the penalty we pay for exceeding the feed limit.
Unknown
16 Likes
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Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage, the shorter the trip.
Arnold H Glasgow
16 Likes
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I am not fat, I am a Nutritional Overachiever.
Unknown
33 Likes
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Only in America are "poor" people fat.
Unknown
54 Likes
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Dear Lord, If you can't make me SKINNY, please make my friends FAT!
Unknown
41 Likes
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Fat people are harder to kidnap.
Unknown
70 Likes
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Bored as a fat person without food...
Unknown
34 Likes
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Can fat people go skinny dipping?
Unknown
78 Likes
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Hey!! they made a song about your weight called 8675309.
Unknown
20 Likes
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I apologize beforehand if I offend you in any weight, shape, or form.
Unknown
12 Likes
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I miss you like Obama misses the point.
Unknown
248 Likes
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I miss you like a mexican without a border.
Unknown
95 Likes
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I miss you like a diabetic kid miss his halloween treats.
Unknown
89 Likes
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I miss you like I missed my ex wife; but my aim is getting better!
Unknown
130 Likes
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I miss you like Hillary misses votes.
Unknown
126 Likes
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I miss you like a homeless person does his dog.
Unknown
78 Likes
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I miss you like a squirrel misses his nuts.
Unknown
189 Likes
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I miss you like a beef misses his bread.
Unknown
89 Likes
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