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That awkward moment when you finish a medium popcorn by the opening credits at the movie theater.
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That awkward moment when someone asks if your hair is wet, but its just that dirty.
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Watching Hugh Hefner have sex must be like watching someone try to pierce a Capri Sun with an earthworm.
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Screaming "Your not my real LADDER!" at your Step ladder.
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Sexually rubbing the wall until you find the light switch.
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Anyone who says having a child is the best moment of their life has obviously never had two Kit-Kats fall out of a vending machine at once.
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That awkward moment when you drop a coin in front of a homeless person...
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Why cant sluts count to 70? because 69 is a mouthful.
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I just saw a fat guy with a shirt that said: I beat anorexia. Defiantly made my day.
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3 Jobs that changed the world: Hand, Blow and Steve.
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Where's Kanye West when my parents are giving me a 9376969675949 hour lecture?
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My bed time is at 9:00pm but I go to sleep at 9:01pm...Thug Life.
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You're 13. You were dumped. Your life isn't over.
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You're a habit I'd like to kick - with both feet.
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You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best.
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What's wrong, don't you get any attention back home?
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Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.
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Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.
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I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.
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I bet you get bullied a lot....
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