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Erma Bombeck Marriagehole Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Erma Bombeck Marriagehole" sorted by relevance. 138 matching entries found.
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As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am
Erma Bombeck
8 Likes
Mathematics quotes
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It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You're on your own, Bernice.
Erma Bombeck
28 Likes
Food quotes
It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: "THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE." Loosely translated, this means, "You're on your own, Bernice."
Erma Bombeck
17 Likes
Food quotes
I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for s...
Erma Bombeck
18 Likes
Women quotes
I've never vied for power in the family before. Pointing a box at the garage door and saying Open! was never a big deal, but holding that television tuner and realizing I alone control what is flashed on the screen brings out the Iacocca in me.
Erma Bombeck
7 Likes
Television quotes
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Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.
Erma Bombeck
15 Likes
Business quotes
Gifts quotes
Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.
Erma Bombeck
33 Likes
Business quotes
Gifts quotes
Never order food in excess of your body weight.
Erma Bombeck
17 Likes
Food quotes
Excess quotes
Poached eggs are good, poached animals are not.
Erma Bombeck
80 Likes
Food quotes
Animals quotes
Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.
Erma Bombeck
64 Likes
Dreams quotes
Lonely quotes
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Myths that need clarification: Everyone in California lives on a white, sandy beach. False. The only people who live on California beaches are vacationers from Arizona, Utah, and Nevada who own condos.
Erma Bombeck
7 Likes
Myths quotes
No One Diets on Thanksgiving. What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?
Erma Bombeck
14 Likes
Funny quotes
Thanksgiving quotes
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
Erma Bombeck
26 Likes
Thanksgiving quotes
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
Erma Bombeck
11 Likes
Funny quotes
Thanksgiving quotes
Have you any idea how many kids it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen? Three. It takes one to say, "What light?" and two more to say, "I didn't turn it on."
Erma Bombeck
9 Likes
Children quotes
Ideas quotes
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The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together
Erma Bombeck
85 Likes
Family quotes
You have to love a nation that celebrates its Independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.
Erma Bombeck
26 Likes
Independence Day quotes
The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.
Erma Bombeck
18 Likes
Family Problem quotes
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