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Facebook Status For Imprsume Heart Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Facebook Status For Imprsume Heart" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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If I am ever in the middle of a shooting, I'll just lay on the floor and act like someone already killed me.
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117 Likes
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I really like ceilings...I guess you could call me a Ceiling fan.
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269 Likes
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I wonder if a receptionist at a sperm bank has ever used the phrase: 'Thanks for coming.'
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710 Likes
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The only reason I'd ever move to L.A. is to get away from conversations about the weather changing.
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31 Likes
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Waking up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and avoiding all of the mirrors.
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128 Likes
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I'm not sure how people get eaten by sharks...I mean how do you not hear the music?
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625 Likes
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I'm naming my TV remote Waldo.
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93 Likes
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Life is better in the summer....
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125 Likes
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If cockroaches can survive a nuclear blast, what the hell is in raid?
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42 Likes
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One of the hardest things to do is trying to plug in your charger in when it's completely dark.
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97 Likes
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"I think we should feel other people." (Blind couple breaking up.)
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451 Likes
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Things that probably shouldn't be broken: 1. Hearts 2. Promises 3. Condoms
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83 Likes
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Siri's on her period. She needs an iPad.
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167 Likes
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THEY'RE going THERE with THEIR friends. Seriously, it's not f*cking rocket science.
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42 Likes
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That one person you wish you never gave your phone number to.
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78 Likes
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If she thinks 69 is just a number, she's too young for you bro.
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467 Likes
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I feel like getting something done today, so Im just going to sit here until that feeling passes.
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253 Likes
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Hey Verification Code, I have no idea what the f*ck that says but I swear I'm human.
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37 Likes
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Drying only your hands, so you can reply to a text while in the shower.
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130 Likes
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Something is wrong with our government when I see people using food stamps and an iPhone.
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148 Likes
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