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Funny Church Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Church" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
The Independent or Congregational theory includes two principles; first, that the governing and executive power in the Church is in the brotherhood; and secondly, that the Church organization is complete in each worshipping assembly, which is independent of every other.
Charles Hodge
0 Likes
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Before my grandpa built his own church, we went to the neighboring town, and it was a white community. You know, up north, mostly middle European people and Indians, Chippewa Indians. We were welcome to that church, but once we got in, they didn't know what to do with us.
James Earl Jones
9 Likes
Most people already know what they're doing wrong. When I get them to church I want to tell them that you can change.
Joel Osteen
46 Likes
Church quotes
Christian quotes
Change quotes
A woman in Pennsylvania was arrested for putting a forged 50 dollar check in a church offering plate and for stealing a woman's wallet from a pew. But you know what? A lot of people don't even go to church.
Seth Meyers
10 Likes
I believe God has established a gender-based elder-ship of the church... I endorse the traditional and what I consider the scriptural view of a unique leadership role for men in marriage, family, and in the church...this ultimately reflects the hierarchy of the Trinity.
John Wimber
7 Likes
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The question confronting the Church today is not any longer whether the man in the street can grasp a religious message, but how to employ the communications media so as to let him have the full impact of the Gospel message.
Pope John Paul I
7 Likes
Church quotes
Hiding the iron, so I have to go to school in wrinkled clothes. Can't wash my hair or it'll run up the water bill. She's telling me that the church clothes she bought me still belong to her because she paid for them, so I only look good in church.
Lisa Left Eye
27 Likes
The religions are all alike, no matter what they call themselves. They have no future- certianly none for the Germans. Facism, if it likes, may come to terms with the Church. So shall I. Why not? That will not prevent me from tearing up Christianity root and branch, and annihilating it in Germany.
Adolf Hitler
31 Likes
Christianity quotes
Church quotes
I don't have to go to church. The church is within me and the experience is my own. It's my life experience.
Mariel Hemingway
0 Likes
R.I.P to my Ex...the funeral will be held at Never Again Baptist Church, located across from The Lies You Told Cemetery, on Moving TF On Ave.
Unknown
482 Likes
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You know you're ghetto when you only go to church on Easter to meet women.
Unknown
75 Likes
Funny Easter quotes
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Theology, not morality, is the first business on the church's agenda of reform, and the church, not society, is the first target of divine criticism
Michael Scott Horton
1 Likes
Criticism quotes
Theology quotes
Pragmatism seems predicated on the idea that artificial technique and human strategy are crucial to the church's mission. Many appear to believe that we can capture people for Christ and the church only if our programs are imaginative enough and our sermons are persuasive enough. Therefore they bend their philosophy of ministry to suit whatever techniques seem to satisfy the most unbelievers.
John Macarthur
6 Likes
The quality of the Lord's church on earth, cannot be seen by any man, so long as he lives in the world, still less how the church in process of time has turned aside from good to evil.
Emanuel Swedenborg Emanuel Swedenborg
1 Likes
When I'm on stage, I'm trying to do one thing: bring people joy. Just like church does. People don't go to church to find trouble, they go there to lose it.
James Brown
4 Likes
Joy quotes
Trying quotes
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Hypocrites in the Church? Yes, and in the lodge and at the home. Don't hunt through the Church for a hypocrite. Go home and look in the mirror. Hypocrites? Yes. See that you make the number one less.
Billy Sunday
12 Likes
I have taken this step because I want the discipline, the fire and the authority of the Church. I am hopelessly unworthy of it, but I hope to become worthy.
Dame Edith Sitwell
39 Likes
Authority quotes
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The credulity of the church is decreasing, and the most marvelous miracles are not either 'explained,' or allowed to take refuge behind the mistakes of the translators, or hide in the d....ry of allegory
Robert Green Ingersoll
0 Likes
Miracles quotes
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Credulity quotes
The credulity of the church is decreasing, and the most marvelous miracles are not either 'explained,' or allowed to take refuge behind the mistakes of the translators, or hide in the d....ry of allegory
Robert Green Ingersoll
0 Likes
Miracles quotes
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The observances of the church concerning feasts and fasts are tolerably well kept, since the rich keep the feasts and the poor the fasts
Sir Philip Sidney
4 Likes
Church quotes
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