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Funny Clever Status Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Clever Status" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Buy a hamster. Name it Virginity. Lose the hamster. Close enough.
Unknown
221 Likes
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Mitt Romney should change his first name to Fetch, because he's never going to happen.
Unknown
113 Likes
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Boy: Why can't tampons talk? Girl: Because they're stuck up bi...es.
Dylan Nace
227 Likes
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Before you speak, listen. Before you write, think. Before you spend, earn. Before you invest, investigate. Before you criticize, wait.
Unknown
388 Likes
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Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.
Unknown
1783 Likes
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The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work.
Mark Twain
741 Likes
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If I were a bathroom tile salesman, my pitch would be 'Think of how great this will look in the background of your social networking pics.'
Hussein Nishah
123 Likes
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9/11 jokes aren't funny, they're just plane wrong.
Unknown
220 Likes
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Life's like your Ex-boyfriend it has it's up it has it's down but in the end you still finish it.
Unknown
236 Likes
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What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Nobody nose.
Unknown
261 Likes
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Better late than never, but never late is better.
Drake
3482 Likes
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Some people are just like some schools during summer, they have, NO CLASS.
Unknown
578 Likes
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I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said, 'Parking Fine'
Unknown
305 Likes
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If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
Unknown
736 Likes
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Im a humble person, really. Im actually much greater than I think I am.
Unknown
630 Likes
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Never on schedule, but always on time.
Nas
1061 Likes
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s.. is like math: You add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply.
Unknown
521 Likes
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I was reminded that my blood type is; Be Positive.
Unknown
196 Likes
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Who ever invented the Knock- Knock jokes should get a No-bell prize!
Unknown
202 Likes
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RIP to all the ho.. dying for attention!
Unknown
253 Likes
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