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Funny Drunk Alcohol Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Drunk Alcohol" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.
Brendan Behan
13 Likes
Funny quotes
Alcohol quotes
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A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.
WC Fields
18 Likes
Funny quotes
Alcohol quotes
They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.
Scottish Proverb
38 Likes
Funny quotes
Alcohol quotes
I'm worried we're not saving enough for our retirement alcohol.
Unknown
10 Likes
Funny quotes
Drinking quotes
They say so many people die because of alcohol. Perhaps they never realized how many of them are born because of it.
Unknown
330 Likes
Clever Facebook Status quotes
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Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems.
Matt Groening
12 Likes
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Beer is the cause and solution to all of life's problems
Homer Simpson
32 Likes
Funny quotes
Alcohol quotes
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does milk.
Unknown
29 Likes
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Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living
Jean Kerr
14 Likes
Funny quotes
Alcohol quotes
One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
Lady Astor
34 Likes
Funny quotes
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It's absolutely absurd to even consider voting on Sunday alcohol sales. I am opposed to alcohol period. It doesn't do anybody any good in the long run. It's a dangerous drug.
John Hunter
0 Likes
An alcoholic is someone you dont like who drinks as much as you do.
Unknown
15 Likes
Funny quotes
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I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.
Unknown
13 Likes
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I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.
George Gobel
20 Likes
Funny quotes
Drink quotes
3 men were drunk,they stopped a taxi.The taxi driver figured that they were drunk,he just switched on the engine & switched it off & told them, 'we ve arrived'.The 1st guy gave him money, 2nd guy said thanks, but the 3rd guy slapped him.The taxi driver was stunned coz he was hoping that none of them must ve realized that the car didn't move an inch.So he asked,what was that for? Control ur speed next time,u almost killed us.
Unknown
26 Likes
Funny quotes
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A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Unknown
18 Likes
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Drunk quotes
Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholics best friend !!!!
Unknown
10 Likes
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I'm glad now, at age 66, that I never used alcohol or tobacco... I've buried a lot of friends who used tobacco or alcohol.
Jerry Falwell
9 Likes
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
Winston Churchill
7 Likes
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Dean Martin
15 Likes
Funny quotes
Beer quotes
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