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Funny Drunk Alcohol Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Drunk Alcohol" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Getting stopped for drunk driving in those days might mean that your entire career was over then. Not today.
Mark Goddard
9 Likes
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Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
Isaac Asimov
8 Likes
I never claimed that I knew how to dance, but I'll get drunk, get high, and pull down my pants
Hollywood Undead
33 Likes
Another method of eating burning coals employs small balls of burned cotton in a dish of burning alcohol.
Harry Houdini
7 Likes
I would say 95% of the time, because you just can't remember your lines if you're drinking alcohol. I would say about 95% of the time it was g.... juice or this fake wine, which was horrible.
Thomas Haden Church
1 Likes
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Id do anything for a perfect beach body, except work out and eat less.
Unknown
160 Likes
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This Christmas I've decided to put a mistletoe in my back pocket....so all the people I dont like can kiss my ass.
Unknown
719 Likes
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My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.
Winston Churchill
31 Likes
Life quotes
Young people can get very discouraged and get hooked on drugs or on alcohol because of problems they perceive as insurmountable. It is important that they realize a mistake need not ruin their future, but they must also know that not everything in life is a bed of roses.
Maureen Forrester
4 Likes
Somebody said to me this morning, 'To what do you attribute your longevity?' I don't know. I mean, I couldn't have planned my life out better. By all accounts I should be dead! The abuse I put my body through: the drugs, the alcohol, the lifestyle I've lived the last 30 years!
Ozzy Osbourne
5 Likes
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In reality, we can prove that the incidents of drug, alcohol abuse and violence have dropped dramatically among professional athletes - but the problem is it would be impossible to convince than fans, because of what they read on the AP wire.
Leigh Steinberg
2 Likes
Somebody said to me this morning, 'To what do you attribute your longevity?' I don't know. I mean, I couldn't have planned my life out better. By all accounts I should be dead! The abuse I put my body through: the drugs, the alcohol, the lifestyle I've lived the last 30 years!
Ozzy Osbourne
6 Likes
There are hundreds of millions of gun owners in this country, and not one of them will have an accident today. The only misuse of guns comes in environments where there are drugs, alcohol, bad parents, and undisciplined children. Period.
Ted Nugent
38 Likes
Somebody said to me this morning, 'To what do you attribute your longevity?' I don't know. I mean, I couldn't have planned my life out better. By all accounts I should be dead! The abuse I put my body through: the drugs, the alcohol, the lifestyle I've lived the last 30 years
Ozzy Osbourne
1 Likes
I feel like if we could weaponize drunk bro-dudes we could defeat ISIS in one spring break.
Unknown
37 Likes
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C'mon, Cindy! We'll just pretend this never happened. You know, like the time we got drunk and went down on each other! -Buffy Gilmore
Scary Movie
4 Likes
To appear on the stage drunk, to have them leave there and remember me making drunken mistakes, that was death.
Sammy Davis Jr
1 Likes
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Ernest Hemingway
6 Likes
Intelligence quotes
There is nothing more unattractive than a sloppy, ghetto, drunk. Get it together ladies!! Sip, swerve, dance & look cute.
Unknown
7 Likes
Hey I have waited so long, to gather up my courage she has got me love drunk fumbling my words.
JLS
10 Likes
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