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Funny Drunk Drivingunk Driving Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Drunk Drivingunk Driving" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
Unknown
563 Likes
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A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
Unknown
18 Likes
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A designated driver helps you party another day.
Unknown
5 Likes
Drunk Driving quotes
I dont make enough money to go on vacation, so I'm just going to get drunk this weekend until I dont know where I am.
Unknown
382 Likes
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Getting stopped for drunk driving in those days might mean that your entire career was over then. Not today.
Mark Goddard
9 Likes
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It seems that whatever we do is somehow beyond reproach - murder, ...., drunk driving - as long as we go on a TV show and apologize.
Eric Stoltz
9 Likes
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
Humor
92 Likes
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My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look s..y...so I came back drunk.
Unknown
385 Likes
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It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road.
Unknown
38 Likes
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Drunk Logic: 'She's only ugly in the face.'
Unknown
89 Likes
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If you can't take control, let Jesus take the wheel and hope he's not drunk.
Unknown
38 Likes
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If you must drink and drive, drink Pepsi.
Unknown
38 Likes
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I love how since my dad got laid off all he does is get drunk, sleep, get drunk, & bi... at me for always being out lol.
Unknown
11 Likes
Being Drunk quotes
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven!
Unknown
51 Likes
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Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people he cops. But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!
Dave Attell
15 Likes
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Being drunk n happy is good...Being drunk and sad isn't good...But I'm just drunk...Here nor there.
Unknown
22 Likes
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Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.
Unknown
170 Likes
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Before someone gets their drivers liscence they should have to beat Rainbow Road on Mario Kart without falling off.
Unknown
376 Likes
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This week New York City Congressman Vito Fossella was arrested for drunk driving, then caught having an extramarital affair, then exposed for having a secret child with his mistress. Or, as it's known in Washington, 'the Trifecta.'
Seth Meyers
7 Likes
A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.
Unknown
18 Likes
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