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Funny Dysfunctional Familysapp Status Cool Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Dysfunctional Familysapp Status Cool" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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There are two types of human beings found on Facebook. One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts. And the others are men.
Unknown
1102 Likes
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The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men apply the same theory to looking for a girlfriend.
Unknown
931 Likes
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Unknown
222 Likes
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I wonder if the clothes in China say, 'Made around the corner.'
Unknown
919 Likes
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Before s.... you help each other get naked, after s.. you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you're fu..ed.
Unknown
2197 Likes
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Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept crashing.
Unknown
696 Likes
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It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
Unknown
842 Likes
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I never forget my wifes birthday. Its usually the day after she reminds me about it.
Unknown
32 Likes
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I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
Rodney Dangerfield
43 Likes
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My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there.
Unknown
546 Likes
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Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground.
Francis Bacon
41 Likes
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To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
Oscar Wilde
9 Likes
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One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.
Euripides
69 Likes
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I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.
Unknown
563 Likes
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All our life our parents told us not to write on walls. Facebook teaches us differently.
Unknown
287 Likes
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Now that's how you supposed to shoot! From now on, that's how you shoot! Oh man, I want my next partner to shoot like that. WOOOOO...it takes a dysfunctional motherfu..er to bust somebody in the head like that. That's some dysfunctional shit! My next partner's gonna invite me to his barbecues and shit, though. -Mike Lowery
Bad Boys 2
15 Likes
Facebook needs a Drama of the day section in my news feed.
Unknown
501 Likes
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Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat.
Unknown
723 Likes
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Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.
Benjamin Franklin
102 Likes
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Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.
Douglas Adams
22 Likes
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