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Funny Facebook Status And I Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Facebook Status And I" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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When I was younger, I would put my face close to a fan & talk to hear my robot voice...
Unknown
795 Likes
Facebook quotes
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I'm glad you work out your issues on Facebook rather than half-naked on stage in front of millions of people.
Unknown
85 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, write on walls, and get poked by people you don't know.
Unknown
8710 Likes
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If Facebook is like dating, then Twitter is like a one night stand - it's fun while you're doing it, you finish in like 5 minutes, and you feel real cheap afterwards.
Unknown
201 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I've realized that instead of posting all my problems on Facebook, its better to find solutions for them on Google.
Barbara Franco
279 Likes
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It's adorable when sleep tries to compete with Facebook.
Unknown
214 Likes
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On the 12th day of Christmas, my Facebook gave too me, 12 stupid bi...es, 11 fake people, 10 FB hackings, 9 new po.. websites, 8 wack statuses, 7 ho.. a slurping, 6 bums a posting, 5 ignorant bastards, 4 corny birds, 3 messages, 2 ugly friends, & a girl who smashed the wholeee team.
Unknown
560 Likes
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Unknown
1682 Likes
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On the 12th day of Facebook, Facebook gave to me, 12 pouters pouting, 11 pokers poking, 10 haters hating, 9 dudes I'm blocking, 8 attention seekers, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 invitations, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends requests & sleaze who won't stop in-boxing meeee!
Unknown
1110 Likes
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Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Unknown
1536 Likes
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Why is it that Facebook even gives me the option to 'Like' my own status? Of course I like my status. I'm hilarious.
Unknown
618 Likes
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The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
Unknown
960 Likes
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If each day is a gift, I would like to know where I can return Mondays.
Unknown
501 Likes
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If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go to the hospital because that sounds serious.
Unknown
795 Likes
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I was going to make a gay joke...butt f*ck it...
Unknown
618 Likes
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Deja Vu is when God thinks something is so funny, that he has to rewind it to show it to his friends.
Unknown
509 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
I'll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go out to buy new ones.
Unknown
362 Likes
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In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have one? Then it's probably you.
Will Ferrell
1154 Likes
Funny Friendship quotes
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Not to name names, but I know some of you update your status from your phone so it appears like you actually left the house. -Sent from my iPhone
Unknown
3034 Likes
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Facebook...... Half Social Network..... Half Shoe Store! Didnt Know I Was At The Mall.
J Create
261 Likes
Funny Facebook Status quotes
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