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Funny Facebook Status And I Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Facebook Status And I" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Most people don't realize this, But you can actually go to the gym without telling Facebook about it.
Unknown
293 Likes
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I forgot to post on Facebook that I was going to the gym...Now this whole work-out was a waste of time.
Unknown
308 Likes
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I don't understand those couples that fight and then a minute later change their Facebook status to 'Single.' I fight with my parents but you dont see me change my status to 'Orphan.'
Unknown
938 Likes
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"All you do is sit on Facebook all day" Lies. I sit on the chair.
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442 Likes
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In a few years priests will say, 'You may now change your relationship status to husband and wife.'
Unknown
213 Likes
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Posting lyrics on your status hoping that one person will read them and take the hint...
Unknown
441 Likes
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I really hope that Jessica Biel names her first child 'Batmo.'
Unknown
69 Likes
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Before someone gets their drivers liscence they should have to beat Rainbow Road on Mario Kart without falling off.
Unknown
376 Likes
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My bed and I have a special relationship, we're perfect for each other. But my alarm clock just hates seeing us together.
Unknown
509 Likes
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When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say "Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?"
Unknown
1346 Likes
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Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.
Unknown
170 Likes
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My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
Unknown
2332 Likes
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Sometimes, when my underwear matches my outfit, it makes me feel like I really have my life together.
Unknown
281 Likes
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You posted a status on your friend's Facebook when he wasn't looking? Please tell me how great of a hacker you are.
Unknown
236 Likes
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My ex boyfriends facebook status said 'Suicidal and standing on the edge.' ...So I poked him.
Unknown
1727 Likes
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You wanna cry? Try using a tissue, it works much better than your Facebook status.
Unknown
360 Likes
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You can't be late until you show up.
Unknown
411 Likes
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For Halloween you should go as the person you claim to be on Facebook.
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174 Likes
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Sometimes one middle finger isn't enough to let someone know how you feel. That's why you have two hands.
Unknown
984 Likes
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I was going to post a status, but then I remembered I have family on Facebook...
Unknown
176 Likes
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