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Funny Happy Week Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Happy Week" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I'm submitting all of you pot smokers and your pot Instragram photographs to your schools and jobs. Happy 420!
Unknown
567 Likes
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It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
Laurence J Peter
9 Likes
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We mothers tend to give away a lot, We take care of a lot of people, and we cant forget to take care of ourselves. If that means once a week youre going to go off without the kidsand just go shoe shopping, well, thats me, because I love sho.. or get a facial even if your sister thinks thats selfish, or join a Zumba class, or take a painting class, or whatever, youve just got to do it. Its just two hours a week, for heavens sake. Im not different from any other mom who feels the need to go out there and work to provide the best for their kids. I ask myself, What would make me the best me to my kids? And thats being a happy, healthy individual who has a sense of fulfillment and can give them everything they need.
Jennifer Lopez
27 Likes
I was about to write a good quote but then I got high and forgot it.
Unknown
353 Likes
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
Henry Youngman
370 Likes
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Like a virgin, studying for the very first time...Wait, aren't you my homework from last week? I've screwed you over before!
Unknown
57 Likes
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I messed up my entire life, because I got high. I lost my kids and wife, because I got high. Now I'm sleeping on the sidewalk... and I know why.
Afroman
96 Likes
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The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up next week.
Spike Milligan
11 Likes
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Call of Duty: MW3 comes out midnight tonight. I wonder how many relationships are going to end this week.
Unknown
539 Likes
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I like the idea of being out there regularly with an audience and with a funny gang of people. That's what I grew up with - doing television, doing shows every week.
Eric Idle
6 Likes
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Let's celebrate our freedom to complain about July 4th falling in the middle of the week.
Unknown
9 Likes
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I was gonna go to work, but then I got high. I just got a new promotion, but I got high. Now I'm selling dope... and I know why.
Afroman
145 Likes
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Happy Mother's Day to someone whose maternity clothes were much less embarrassing than Kim Kardashian's are.
Unknown
13 Likes
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Happy Mother's Day to a woman who thankfully will never be a candidate for the show Monster In-Laws.
Unknown
36 Likes
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Here's wishing a Happy Birthday to the most charming, funny, attractive and rocking personality in town. Have a great day.
Unknown
2749 Likes
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Happy Mother's Day to the greatest mom in the world besides Michelle Obama.
Unknown
22 Likes
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Happy Mother's Day to a mom who didn't intentionally get knocked up to be on MTV.
Unknown
23 Likes
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Shark Week is a great reminder there are fast-swimming creatures more intelligent than Ryan Lochte.
Unknown
14 Likes
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I was a bank teller. That was a great job. I was bringing home $450,000 a week.
Joel Lindley
3 Likes
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Happy Mother's Day to someone smart enough to avoid motherhood.
Unknown
23 Likes
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