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Funny Jail Time Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Jail Time" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Love is alive when it has time. It is dying when it's hurried. It is dead when it cannot wait.
Unknown
24 Likes
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I'm not addicted to facebook! You know, I just use it whenever I have time. Lunch time, break time, bed time, off time, that time, this time, any time, all the time!
Unknown
680 Likes
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The voice I have now, I got the first time I sang in a movement meeting, after I got out of jail... and I'd never heard it before in my life.
Bernice Johnson Reagon
3 Likes
Serena's been in jail for four hours, she's already served more time than Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie combined!
Blair Waldorf
37 Likes
It's time to renew that gym membership we're never going to use again.
Unknown
86 Likes
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It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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Collected my belongings and I left the jail. Well thanks for the time, I needed to think a spell. I had to think awhile. I had to think awhile.
Modest Mouse
3 Likes
Some people have the time but they don't have time while others have time but do not have the time.
Jacques Prevert
10 Likes
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Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears. Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain. Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile. But when you fart just one time...
Unknown
240 Likes
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Men who are in prison for .... think it's the dumbest thing that ever happened... they were put in jail for something very little different from what most men do most of the time and call it s... The only difference is they got caught. It may also be true.
Catharine MacKinnon
7 Likes
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God, grant me the serenity to accept the stupid people as they are, the courage to maintain self-control and the wisdom to know that if I act on it, I will end up in jail.
Unknown
200 Likes
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Amy Winehouse was arrested Wednesday in connection with a video that allegedly shows her doing drugs at a party. Winehouse could be looking at real jail time under England's harsh 'bazillion strikes' law.
Seth Meyers
1 Likes
Theres that moment where you come off the stage for the first time and youre sitting alone backstage in your thong, sweating, basically coming out of a trance, thinking, What did I just do? Its like waking up out of a blackout covered in blood. Youre like, What just happened? Can I go to jail for this?
Joe Manganiello
13 Likes
I would retire first. It's the most hectic, nerve-racking city. Imagine having to take the 7 train to the ballpark, looking like you're [riding through] Beirut next to some kid with purple hair next to some queer with AIDS right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It's depressing.
John Rocker
84 Likes
White parents use time out. My mom used a different type of time out. She'd be like, 'There...take time out to pick up your teeth.'
Martin Lawrence
77 Likes
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Most of the time when people laugh at me...I'm not trying to be funny.
Donny Norris
71 Likes
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Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while. (X) fu.. it. I'll buy my own shit.
Unknown
917 Likes
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My resolution is to spend less time working which means you'll have to work more.
Unknown
8 Likes
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My resolution is to spend more time avoiding friends and family.
Unknown
25 Likes
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It's not about trying to be funny all the time. It's more of a document that hopefully is funny.
David Cross
2 Likes
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