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Funny Mark Twain Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Mark Twain" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
When a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.
Mark Twain
1 Likes
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How empty is theory in the presence of fact
Mark Twain
3 Likes
Theory quotes
If all men were rich, all men would be poor
Mark Twain
2 Likes
Richness quotes
The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work
Mark Twain
44 Likes
Success quotes
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Mark Twain
12 Likes
Sleep quotes
Exercise quotes
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My parents were neither very poor nor conspicuously honest.
Mark Twain
0 Likes
Parents quotes
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
Mark Twain
3 Likes
Humor quotes
People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases.
Mark Twain
1 Likes
Books quotes
Ignorance, intolerance, egotism, self-assertion, opaque perception, dense and pitiful chuckle headedness - and an almost pathetic unconsciousness of it all, that is what I was at nineteen and twenty
Mark Twain
14 Likes
Teenage quotes
While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
Mark Twain
21 Likes
Evolution quotes
People quotes
Women quotes
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Great books are weighed and measured by their style and matter and not by the trimmings and shadings of their grammer.
Mark Twain
1 Likes
Books quotes
It is at our mother's knee that we acquire our noblest and truest and highest ideals, but there is seldom any money in them.
Mark Twain
3 Likes
Money quotes
All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark Twain called Huckleberry Finn.
Ernest Hemingway
3 Likes
Literature quotes
It is not worthwhile to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man's character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible
Mark Twain
1 Likes
History quotes
I shall not often meddle with politics, because we have a political Editor who is already excellent and only needs to serve a term or two in the penitentiary to be perfect.
Mark Twain
8 Likes
Politics quotes
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Religion consists of a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain
Mark Twain
4 Likes
Religion quotes
Last week I stated that this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister and now wish to withdraw that statement.
Mark Twain
21 Likes
Women quotes
The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
Mark Twain
3 Likes
Laughter quotes
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
Mark Twain
15 Likes
Self Absorbed quotes
To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government and the sure and gradual deterioration of the public morals.
Mark Twain
12 Likes
Government quotes
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