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Funny Married L Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Married L" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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I just wanna be rich enough to have Morgan Freeman read me bedtime stories.
Unknown
255 Likes
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Parent: What did you learn today? Student: Apparently not enough! We have to go back tomorrow!
Unknown
1256 Likes
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Taylor Swift seems like the type of chick that would poke a hole in a condom.
Unknown
340 Likes
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Relationships are like fat people, most of them don't work out.
Unknown
2419 Likes
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It's funny, when people talk about the 70s I can tell you the year of every album but when it comes to the later efforts I can't remember the exact years, it's funny isn't it?
Steve Hackett
9 Likes
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It's been said good things come to those who wait... All I have to say is whatever is coming to me,better be freaking fantastic!
Nishan Panwar
547 Likes
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My wife is funny. And I dabble in it. So being funny is big around our house. But what's surprised me is my daughter can do an English accent. I don't know how she learned this.
Jerry Seinfeld
6 Likes
That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of another car and realize there's someone inside.
Unknown
631 Likes
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No, you're not allowed to be bossy when you're married. You have to learn compromise, and compassion and patience.
Star Jones
6 Likes
In the winter I separate, in the summer I marry. It's been 15 years since I've been getting married every year.
Vanessa Paradis
13 Likes
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People always seem to be interested in my private life because I'm married to a pop star.
Jamie Redknapp
0 Likes
I was married for 30 years. Isn't that enough? I've had my share of dirty underwear on the floor.
Martha Stewart
1 Likes
I don't want to be married to someone who feels inferior to my success or because I make more money than he does.
Grace Kelly
6 Likes
Married s.. is like being awake during your own autopsy. It is root canal work without anesthetic.
Al Goldstein
0 Likes
When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad.
Daniel Tosh
29 Likes
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You aint using my credit card, fool. This is your ring. Im not stupid enough to get married at 23. You are.
Brody Jenner
3 Likes
I married at a tender age during my early stage and radio struggles.
Rod Taylor
0 Likes
May was young and beautiful, we were legally married, but she was caught in the prison of my skin.
Sammy Davis Jr
1 Likes
My friends are all getting married. I'm getting drunk.
Unknown
65 Likes
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Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.
Mickey Rooney
1 Likes
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