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Funny Morning Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Morning Jokes" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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Id do anything for a perfect beach body, except work out and eat less.
Unknown
160 Likes
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My pillow is my best hair styler, every morning I wake up with a new hair style.
Unknown
382 Likes
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I am sitting here looking at the most amazing person I have ever seen, smart, funny, caring, and absolutely stunning! Yes, I am looking in the mirror!
Ash Sweeney
585 Likes
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Lena's hair was sticking out in about fifteen directions, and her eyes were all small and puffy from crying. So this was what girls looked like in the morning. I had never seen one, not up close.
Kami Garcia
177 Likes
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Being fat is nature's way of saying, You're so good, I think I'll make more of you!
Unknown
422 Likes
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Every morning in Africa, a Gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a Lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest Gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn't matter whether you are a Lion or a Gazelle... when the sun comes up, you'd better be running.
Unknown
212 Likes
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When I exercise, I wear all black. It's like a funeral for my fat.
Unknown
137 Likes
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And the thing about my jokes is, they don't hurt anybody. You can take 'em or leave 'em - you can say they're funny or they're terrible or they're good, or whatever, but you can just pass 'em by. But with Congress, every time they make a joke, it's a law! And every time they make a law, it's a joke!
Will Rogers
206 Likes
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Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.
Robert Maynard Hutchins
77 Likes
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My idea of a good morning is one when I open my eyes, take a deep breath, then go back to sleep.
Unknown
301 Likes
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My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can.
Cary Grant
205 Likes
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Good morning to the day: and next, my gold! - / Open the shrine that I may see my saint.
Ben Jonson
424 Likes
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Why can't the Morning News ever say 'Today has been canceled...go back to sleep.'
Unknown
367 Likes
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Good Morning, hope everyone is feeling blessed this morning praise God.
Unknown
367 Likes
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Morning is silent, morning is calm, morning is beautifil, but morning is not complete without wishing you good and wonderful day.
Unknown
21 Likes
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Don't you hate it when you're doing push-ups and you lose count after 1,000...
Unknown
147 Likes
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The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How is the president?
Will Rogers
80 Likes
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People don't want to see me having s..... I'm the queen of the 'kiss, foreplay, dissolve.' And then the 'Whoo! Good morning, tiger.
Julia Robert
118 Likes
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It is a good morning exercise for a research scientist to discard a pet hypothesis every day before breakfast. It keeps him young.
Konrad Lorenz
148 Likes
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If you're on the treadmill next to me, the answer is yes...we are racing.
Unknown
77 Likes
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