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Funny Random Thought Quotes & Sayings
Showing search results for "Funny Random Thought" sorted by relevance. 500 matching entries found.
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QUOTES
Brace yourself, random 'Merry Christmas' texts are coming.
Unknown
50 Likes
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When I'm bored I send a text to a random number saying 'I hid the body.' or 'I'm pregnant.'
Unknown
157 Likes
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Bored quotes
When your significant other asks if she looks fat in an outfit...simply smile grab a random dress and say "Not as fat as you look in this."
Unknown
9 Likes
Love quotes
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When I die, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car.
Unknown
188 Likes
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When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the fire department generally uses water.
Unknown
25 Likes
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I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.
Noel Coward
10 Likes
Funny quotes
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I need someone who is prepared for a million questions, uncontrollable laughter, my family, my appetite, musical outbursts, random dancing, my friends, deep talks, my imagination, my dreams, walks in the rain, random texts, useless arguments, and acceptance of real me.
Unknown
77 Likes
Finding Love quotes
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The funny thing I thought you cared about me...I thought you were different.
Unknown
8 Likes
The awkward moment when you realize your joke isn't as funny as you thought.
Unknown
224 Likes
Funny quotes
I used to like watching the Carol Burnett Show. I thought Carol Burnett was very funny. And I liked Madeline Kahn a lot because in my house we were watching a lot of Mel Brooks movies and she was always in them and super funny. And Gilda Radner. I used to like watching Saturday Night Live. I always thought that she was hilarious.
Paul Rudd
14 Likes
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I follow the most random people on Twitter. I follow famous people like Khloe Kardashian, who surprisingly makes really funny tweets all the time.
Chloe Moretz
16 Likes
Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween...I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their doors.
Unknown
336 Likes
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I never thought I was funny, but I enjoy being funny.
Nora Dunn
14 Likes
I want to be the smile, the first thought, the long drive, the short walk, the last voice, the random call, the sweet dream, The comfort hug, the sparkle in your eye. I want to be everything you need, or simply just what you want.
Unknown
189 Likes
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Just thought a thought but the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought.
Unknown
648 Likes
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It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. It's funny how good memories can make you cry, it's funny how forever never seems to last, it's funny how much you would lose if you forgot about your past, it's funny how friends can just leave when you're down, it's funny how when you need someone they never are around, it's funny how people change and think they're so much better, it's funny how some many lies are packed into one love letter, it's funny how one night can hold so much regret, it's funny how you can forgive but not forget, it's funny how ironic life turns out to be, but the funniest part of all, is that none of that is funny to me.
Unknown
565 Likes
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Mom: Your great aunt just passed away. LOL Me: Why is that funny? Mom: It's not funny David! What do you mean? Me: Mom lol means laughing out loud! Mom: Oh my goodness! I sent that to everyone I thought it meant lots of love. I have to call everyone back oh God.
Unknown
800 Likes
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Long quotes
Study without thought is vain: thought without study is dangerous.
Confucious
55 Likes
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Humor has historically been tied to the mores of the day. The Yellow Kid was predicated on what people thought was funny about the immigrant Irish. When you're different in a society, you're funny.
Will Eisner
8 Likes
Humor quotes
I think cheese smells funny, but I feel bananas are funny. I'm assuming Swamp told the whole story of the executives seriously asking us to replace the banana with cheese because they thought it was funnier.
Joe Murray
2 Likes
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